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Post by Dalton[ SMILE!] on Sept 30, 2009 19:30:24 GMT -5
Not conscious of it, the man's hand moved up to his shoulders, and brushed off invisible muck. A few chases had required forays into the belly of Nada--and occasionally into the active sewer pipes. The smell was everything Jachai was imagining, and worse. Not to mention the sight itself was disgusting, river of brown goop aside, you would be amazed what you could find in a sewer pipe. A few odd things included a hair brush, and a small box of cereal. In case--like Dalton--you were wondering what happened to the criminal who had detoured into the sewers, his end was less than sweet smelling. In fact, before he was arrested he was tackled into the river of waste. Guess who tackled him, and got to take a chocolate dip? Jagged edged nails began to scrub at the bare skin along his neckline. "...a gutter....I meant a gutter..." Even Wannabe had enough class not to drink his words from a sewer. Gutters only caught rain and the occasional leaf. Sewer. That sewer incident. That was one useful thing he would use a time machine for. To erase that memory...to erase....those memories. " Hrmm? Oh yes. I hope so. However when he scolds you, or laughs at you--I'll keep my big beautiful nose out of it." No need to see a family fight--things like that were private. Or at least private in the sense that you did not mention seeing them. The idea of the little smurf yelling at Jachai was rather humorous." I hope so--he's adorable~ little Ricky." Not the singer.
--
Dalton found the Elekid cute in that moment as well, all of that rage channeled into a useless little tantrum. Little veins bulging from tightened skin, and arms spinning about in random windmills. That question was cute--Wannabe asking for questions about girls. Of course it would be a lot cuter if the electric type stopped trying to demolish his eardrums. --
"Bah. Women. Wimps. What can they do that we can't besides cry like little sissies?" Only female the Elekid had interacted with had been the Oddish currently trapped beneath him. The others had been the women he had saw on television, the beaten, whining, wimpy women. The electric type had never met anything female that he felt was equal. Jachai was wrong. He was right. " ...I wouldn't want to be a girl.. why would I trade this in? Who would?" The reasoning was different. Why would he give up his masculinity for something inferior. Or for something he knew little about, except what he saw in exaggerated stereotypes. Never had the women on his late night dramas given birth, or beat the shit out of their husband.
Women were useless. Moron. Just like that dress--what was this guy a cheerleader for feminine causes? freak.
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"HAH! CAUSE THEY'RE MORE INTIMIDATING THAN YOU ARE!" The Elekid screeched, rising to his feet, and jabbing an ebony claw at the tip of Jachai's nose. " Or maybe you see them.. just like Dalton sees puppy dogs, and ghosts eating toast!" The exclamations came to a rather humorous stop when the pot began to shake beneath him, the badly coordinated Elekid teetered back and forth. Toes hung upward in space for moments, before his knees crumpled outward, and he fell back on the pot with a loud "whumpf", fell back right on his rump. "Freak..." Was that pink on his cheeks? Was the little monster embarrassed? Aww.
--
If one had watched carefully, it would have been easy to see a glimpse of navy beneath the jiggling pot. It also made the next words loud. 'Cute! CUTE!" "SHUT UP! ONLY THE INSANE AND FREAKS CARE ABOUT THE OPINION OF A POT!" The Elekid smashed a hand against the side of the clay pot. Stupid thing was talkative.
The ranger watched with lips drawn upward. It was so cute--the Elekid failing to draw blood with barbs, so turning up the volume instead.
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Post by Jachai J. Jean-Jacques III on Oct 3, 2009 16:48:46 GMT -5
Jachai, through his grossed out haze, did manage to see the other man’s disgust and inwardly agreed. Yes, a gutter; that was a MUCH better thing to remember him saying than that other… thing. And ARCEUS this man was so weird! He was weirder- in his personal opinion- than he himself was, and he was the one wearing a frilly dress! That was something to say. Who would think to mention their big… and apparently beautiful… nose during that comment? He almost had the audacity to say ‘You’re so weird…’ to the guy, but he remembered that the opinion was probably not a very nice one, albeit hypocritical, so kept his mouth shut, merely nodding in sheepish- and fanboyish, when Ricky was mentioned- agreement. Yes. That minun was REALLY FREAKING ADORABLE, despite being a stick in the mud… And said minun was going to simply MURDER him the next time they met. If he found out about this terribly strange event, of course! … And… wow. He had to go fight for all womankind’s honor! How weird. He held up three fingers.
“Well, women can have babies, for one. Two; women live longer. Three; girls mature faster than boys... obviously.”
Jachai had folded his fingers in one by one till they were all gone, keeping a neutral look on his face the whole time, hopefully. He’d forgotten he was supposed to be completely nice for a sec there; inwardly regretting that last word after he said it. Then Wannabe had asked a rather awkward question.
“Uhm…”
Who would? Was he even allowed to have that conversation? Sheesh. Jachai was going to have to be the spokesperson for all things either unmanly or awkward-to-talk-about-in-public tonight, wasn’t he? He resisted giving an answer, at first.
“… You’re very confusing.”
After the little elekid- aww, he was blushing, how cute!- got done being vehement and had flopped back onto the pot, the blond lad had finally spoken up again, not denying that he wasn’t as intimidating as Ricky because he seriously wasn’t. That comment about the puppies and ghosts had made no sense whatsoever… Yep, Wannabe was definitely Dalton’s partner. And he thought he and Ricky were weird… Oh, looked like he was correct! There was indeed a little lady-oddish under there! Now how to save her… Hmmm, what could he do to make that little guy get off the pot… An almost devious grin formed on his face and he crouched down in front of the elekid- making sure that the dress wasn’t going to react to the movement inappropriately- bracing his forearms against his knees for balance.
“Have you had your cootie shot?”
((Uhm. xD))
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Post by Dalton[ SMILE!] on Oct 4, 2009 17:44:00 GMT -5
The ranger grinned back, nodding in friendly imitation. If that little blue guy was here right now, well he would be squished in a hug. That soft short fur, coupled with the innocent onyx eyes made that a certainty--besides Dalton had always wanted an afro. "How man volts of electricity do you think it takes to get an afro?" Jachai thought Dalton was odd when his mind wandered a few moments ago? Just you wait. The man's mind had a habit of wandering off during important discussions, and unlike most folks he did not understand that you were not supposed to blurt out whatever random things came into your head. "....maybe ...could a thunderbolt do it?" What was the discussion currently? Cute little Minun--well he could easily see what that had to do with afroes and thunderbolts, so why did the boy seem so confused.
Silly teenagers. Hormones really messed them up--mutated them more than anything Pravus had. --
"Since when do women live longer? Wimps don't outlive the strong." Can you say sexist? Most pokemon would have been curious but females, but the Elekid had now made it his job to bash them--even though he knew very little about them. Well, besides the fact that they had kids and breasts. Or at least his mom had. ".......What's so hard about that anyway?" Really? How hard was it to have an egg--this little freak was making it sound like giving birth was actual work. A speckled egg--and the baby did all the work, shoving their way out through a shell, nasty fluid sticking tot heir fur like some kind of deformed coat. Women did not work for that--at all! ".......more mature? Who decides what mature means anyway?--and why the fuck is this crackpot argument obvious?" Ignorant little darling, let us see him try to argue this with his future...wife.
You know what. He will never have to. Moving on. ----
"....I'm confusing? You're the guy walking around in a goddamned dress --and worshipping the enemy." Yes. Women had now become the enemy if the Elekid, just like people, homosexuals, and anything that was not yellow, striped, and an asshole. In other words, anything that was not a Wannabe. The pouting lips slowly twisted into an angry frown, sparks leapt from the snaggle -fang that jutted from his upper jaw. "....damn traitor...then again.." The frown turned into a smirk. "...... you really don't count as a man anyway." Just like Dalton, and that freak Marcus. Dalton was useless , and Marcus was downright despicable. Who wanted them on the male team? Who needed them when there were Wannabes out there to pick up the slack?
Oh it appeared the moron was speaking again. The Elekid promptly burst out laughing. " Do I look like I was born yesterday? That bull crap doesn't exist, and even if it did--only women could have it you goddamned moron." The Elekid was extremely tempted to kick the cross dresser in the face, he had put himself down there after all.
Underneath the pot the Oddish had began to hop up and down, singing at the top of her little lungs: "COOTIES! COOTIES! CHOCOLATE CHIP COOTIES!"
[Eeew. Moving on.]
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Post by Jachai J. Jean-Jacques III on Oct 9, 2009 23:25:26 GMT -5
((Fook. *facepalm*))
“… I don’t know how much a volt is.”
Jachai wasn’t even sure if that was a rhetorical question or not. But that was his answer! He did not know how much electricity a volt was, and he himself was an electric-type pokemorph. That fact made him want to facepalm- just a little bit- at his own cluelessness. He’d absolutely have to ask Ricky to teach him how much a volt was when they were together… Ricky would know. He was smart.
“Maybe... Yes. It would.”
Yes. A thunderbolt would do it. He remembered one time when he’d been trying to be Ricky’s battery and everything accidentally went backwards; his hair had been VERY poofy for a moment there. It was also very uncomfortable…. Wimps? Mmmh. Brawn wasn’t everything; Jachai certainly knew that fact very well. He stilled, thinking of a way to put that into terms that a boy as anti-feministic as that little one would understand. Hopefully he’d find a nice, pro-femme lady-friend to set him straight one day! Otherwise that would be a terribly ignorant and lonely existence… so thought the equally ignorant-about-something hypocrite.
“Welll… you said the men were supposed to be the strong ones. They do fight more often…”
He was implying they also died more often, though it was a HORRIBLE thought. It was his assumption that self-respecting males would always put their women and children before their own lives, but he was probably not counting for species that didn’t regularly have mates stick together. …What was hard about labor?! The blond took a deep breath and his free hand started to form something- even he didn’t know what it was doing- when suddenly he sighed.
“… I can’t explain that to you.”
He raised an eyebrow at Dalton- though it wasn’t at all a criticizing look- and looked back down at the female-oblivious elekid. He needed a real lady around- oh! Oh my. It clicked, suddenly, that maybe the problem was that Wannabe had never had a prevalent mother figure growing up. The lucky feeling that bloomed in his heart that he had himself a mom- a fantastic and accepting mom- was swiftly drowned in another emotion by the other’s next comment. Bad language! He covered his mouth in apparent shock- which he didn’t truly have, he might’ve even expected the ‘f-bomb’ to come up- and simply watched the smaller male, waiting for something that he wanted to respond to. The laughter hurt a little. Not as much as words did, though.
“Oh… I don’t think women are the enemy, unless you’re competing against them. Even then...”
Well, that quip was a little rude. So was most of what the elekid said, actually. Sheesh, he was so angry! Why was he so angry while Dalton was so nice?... and strange? Maybe that was how pairs worked… but Ricky had an obvious excuse for being a bitter guy- he did have to trail after his silly self all day- and he wasn’t that voracious! The fruitcup decided he was going to have to get to the bottom of that barrel of pickles someday. Maybe. When he stopped calling him a not-man, of course... Yep, this guy-in-a-dress had his feelings hurt a mite, so much so that be felt the need to hide his tongue from his brain before he blurted out anything rude. Yep. He was losing! Well, not technically, since the elekid was very stubborn and didn’t seem to care if he was right or not, but still. How terrible!
Jachai blinked at Wannabe’s reaction to mentioning cooties, sitting back as though in utter shock that the elekid would even say such a thing.
“Aww. You aren’t any fun! I guess you’re right about that too, aren’tcha?”
He looked away as though he were offended, which he wasn’t, but he kept up his act anyways; narrowing his eyes and leaning back on his palms in an utterly nonchalant manner. Clearly talking him away from the pot wasn’t going to work! Goodness, he was a horrible judge of things. Poor little girl; trapped under there for an eon while he was being rather silly with his approaches. She didn’t sound too bad off, but she probably wasn’t having a blast stuck in such a small space either. The lad was so distracted, he’d forgotten that one of his hands was supposed to be on his face; hiding that one mark that was supposed to be so very important to hide. Luckily his face was turned so that shadows from the street lamps would conceal it, if someone hadn’t noticed it before, of course of course! It seemed like Jachai had suddenly realized something, but it wasn’t about his ‘tattoo/burn’; there was something orange and teal flying around in the sky! It looked a lot like one of Ricky’s buddies-
”Maurice…?”
He whizzed by overhead, deep laughter sounding from the vibrantly-hued swellow; said bird appearing to dive off down into another alley not far from where the four of them were standing, his chuckles echoing off concrete to solidify the earlier assumption. And he could’ve SWORN he heard-
“DAMNIT MO!”
Ricky! He stood up right away- looked at Wannabe for a moment with a slightly torn expression- and then proceeded to walk off. Lila could wait a minute more, couldn’t she? As the blond rounded the corner- after a few quick moments of walking- he grinned happily, seeing Ricky trying to grab at the quick swellow’s wing-feathers in fury, the minun’s teeth gritted together in an adorably fierce scowl. Though he hated interrupting- not really- he interjected anyways, seeing as he was the reason they were there, obviously. They wouldn’t mind.
“Ricky! How’d you…?”
“-- Not important.”
Maurice had opened his beak to say something, but a quick jab to the ribs from Ricky shut him up, the minun having stayed his attempts to rip the swellow’s feathers out when the blond had started talking. After a moment of puffing up at being shanked with an elbow, the swellow huffily flapped up and out of the alley; sarcasm drenching his voice as he loudly thanked himself for going to get Ricky’s furry ass out of the boonies to come save his idiot boy. Jachai waved thankfully at the bird as he left, unsure if the avian had seen his display, then turned back to his beloved partner... who seemed to be very mad with him, if one could go by the way he was glaring! Oh boy. How fun.
“Jachai… I’m looking for a word to describe what I’m going to do to you, and it starts with a big ol’ first-degree ‘M’…”
“Are you going to molest me via hug?” He asked, smiling hopefully.
“No…”
Awh. Ricky was so adorable when he was rubbing his cheeks all frustrated-ly. It made him blush a lovely purple-ish red color…
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Post by Dalton[ SMILE!] on Oct 10, 2009 20:21:01 GMT -5
Whether it was a question or not, it required an answer: " ... something like a bazillion amps or something..." The ranger's mouth quivered for a moment, before curling upward. A single hand did the same thing, and began to rub at the back of his head--the smile now seemed to be a bit sheepish, as did the laughter that boomed from between his wind chapped lips. " I don't know either! Bet it's a whole lotta zappage though!" If the kid didn't know, why should he? This boy was probably in school last year, he had not been in a classroom in twenty. Unless you count his four or five sensitivity classes after he joined the force. " ... how much would I have to pay someone to get it done.. you know how long it takes to get my hair like this?" Approximiatly the few seconds it took him to roll out of bed, and for his slipper shod feet to hit the floor. "..you think it'd hurt?" He had been hit with an ember before, and tackled. But, he had never had his nervous system fried.
The man began another long trek through some odd lands of thought as he tread toward the street. One would be lost very quickly if they tried to navigate his head, even with a GPS and a good sense of direction.
---
"..well how else are you strong if not physically? I swear you got your god-damned priorities more twisted up than that ugly ass skirt." The Elekid tilted his face upward, sparks leaping between his ears, the look combined with the aggressive posturing was obviously him trying to come off as "manly". Instead he came off as a snobby nobleman, a very fat, very round nobleman. "..I know all about that stuff like I said i don't see the big dea--" The slightly angry words were cut off by a yelp of triumph, and instantly the Elekid found himself enveloped by his trainer's lithe arms. The man was practically wagging his tails when he began to speak: " I CAN TELL HIM ALLLLL ABOUT IT~" It was nice to pass scarring images on to people, especially while smiling. " I know all about it you fuckin' idiot..." The ranger leaned forward, lips moved inches from the Elekid's ears. The words were likely useless noises to Jachai and Lila, but not to the Elekid.
The look of annoyance slowly turned into wide eyed disgust. The jaw slowly dropped open, even as sparks began to lick at the ranger's ajar lips. "........oh.. my.....Arceus.. that is fucking disgusting.." The electric type murmured, legs drawing inward, and his entire body began to shiver. "..you better be pulling my goddamned leg...it's eggs. . . I know that..." Dalton was now laughing at the mental trauma, and leaned closer to the Elekid, whispering once again. " and poof~ a baby~!" Halfway through that horrid monologue the Elekid had stopped listening to Jachai, and was now completely immersed in a dark world, of blood, and screaming.
"..women are monsters..." Long after Dalton had loped back to his former position Wannabe had murmured the above. Not exactly the result Dalton had been hoping for.
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The ranger had been so immersed in his tortures that he did not even notice Jachai's happy reunion. Only after he had stopped speaking did he glance up. "HEY IT'S LITTLE RICKY ~! COME HERE CUTEY CAKE!" Rushing forward with arms outstretched, he attempted to scoop up the little electric type. It was so cute when it blushed!
--
"Great another freak for the circus...." It appeared Wannabe had been revived by Ricor's arrival, and turned toward the Minun with a glare. Why did it always have to be girly men, gay men, or odd little mouse things? When would he meet someone worthy of a conversation? Where were all the other smart, well-built Elekids in the world?
--
"M IS FOR MURDER! 98th degree murder!" The Oddish burst out under the pot, before bursting into a fit of giggles. She wanted a murder hug!
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