Post by kero on Aug 23, 2008 20:05:23 GMT -5
Devin,
Its only been a few hours since I left and yet I find my self staring off into space and thinking of you. It seems crazy that someone I met scarcely more than a day ago has become so important that they are always on my mind. When I listen to music I find myself turning to ask you your opinion on the lyrics, or when I am reading I start to read you a part of my book that I found particularly hilarious only to realize that you aren't there.
Is it possible to miss someone so much that you hear their voice or see them out of the corner of your eye, only to turn and realize that it was the wind or a trick of the light? Isn't that a sign of someone who is crazy? Does loving someone drive you mad? Yes, I said love. It took me a while, but when you held me in your arms and kissed me goodbye I realized that if you were to suddenly disappear from my life it would break me.
Even when my father acted so callously towards me, all it did was make me realize that the world wasn't a happy place. Or when I found out that Leral was working as a prostitute and only wanted me for sex and bragging rights, all it took was a few beers to get over him. If you were gone there would be no world, just a gray kind of half-life, forcing myself to exist simply for Maya. Nor would there be enough alcohol anywhere on earth to drown out my pain.
For the past few years I cynically believed that love was a pipe dream, that it was nothing more than a lie or an excuse. But I was wrong and you showed me that. I still believe that what the world calls love actually is selfishness, because most of the world still uses it to cause pain.
My definition of love is different than most. Love means that I will say or do things that hurt you, and although I may mean them at the time I will hate myself for it later. Love means that I will help lighten the burden you carry on your shoulders rather than make it worse. Love means that I will give you all of me and hold nothing back. Love means that I take you as you are and although I might try to break your bad habits, I will never change anything that is intrinsically you. Love means that I would offer to give up just about anything to be with you but that you won't make me. Love means staying up till all hours of the night fighting, loving, hating, trying, needing, caring, and working. Love means that everything's not going to be perfect but that you are worth it to me.
As I write these words I hope that when you read them you won't think that I am a hopeless romantic or a wide-eyed dreamer. I pray that the world hasn't made you ignore what is right in front of you. Someday, I will tell you what is kept secret deep in my heart and give you this letter. On that day I hope that you can say you feel the same way.
With all my mind, body, heart and soul.
Kerowyn
Its only been a few hours since I left and yet I find my self staring off into space and thinking of you. It seems crazy that someone I met scarcely more than a day ago has become so important that they are always on my mind. When I listen to music I find myself turning to ask you your opinion on the lyrics, or when I am reading I start to read you a part of my book that I found particularly hilarious only to realize that you aren't there.
Is it possible to miss someone so much that you hear their voice or see them out of the corner of your eye, only to turn and realize that it was the wind or a trick of the light? Isn't that a sign of someone who is crazy? Does loving someone drive you mad? Yes, I said love. It took me a while, but when you held me in your arms and kissed me goodbye I realized that if you were to suddenly disappear from my life it would break me.
Even when my father acted so callously towards me, all it did was make me realize that the world wasn't a happy place. Or when I found out that Leral was working as a prostitute and only wanted me for sex and bragging rights, all it took was a few beers to get over him. If you were gone there would be no world, just a gray kind of half-life, forcing myself to exist simply for Maya. Nor would there be enough alcohol anywhere on earth to drown out my pain.
For the past few years I cynically believed that love was a pipe dream, that it was nothing more than a lie or an excuse. But I was wrong and you showed me that. I still believe that what the world calls love actually is selfishness, because most of the world still uses it to cause pain.
My definition of love is different than most. Love means that I will say or do things that hurt you, and although I may mean them at the time I will hate myself for it later. Love means that I will help lighten the burden you carry on your shoulders rather than make it worse. Love means that I will give you all of me and hold nothing back. Love means that I take you as you are and although I might try to break your bad habits, I will never change anything that is intrinsically you. Love means that I would offer to give up just about anything to be with you but that you won't make me. Love means staying up till all hours of the night fighting, loving, hating, trying, needing, caring, and working. Love means that everything's not going to be perfect but that you are worth it to me.
As I write these words I hope that when you read them you won't think that I am a hopeless romantic or a wide-eyed dreamer. I pray that the world hasn't made you ignore what is right in front of you. Someday, I will tell you what is kept secret deep in my heart and give you this letter. On that day I hope that you can say you feel the same way.
With all my mind, body, heart and soul.
Kerowyn