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Post by xxphenomenonxx on Feb 21, 2009 21:51:16 GMT -5
New editing technique. The re-read of the prologue edited is here. Okay. If you see a line through something, like this, then that means that you should take it out or cut it. If you see I've bolded something like this, then that's either something I added in to help the detail or help the sentence in general. Remember, you don't have to take my suggestions if you don't want to.
Don't forget a title for your story!
In the depths it waited.
Few knew of its existence and they all thought it was asleep, never to awake for many years, hopefully by then they would all be dead. How wrong they were. It was awake, and waiting, just waitingclinging to a thought of freedom, knowing what it wanted would soon be accomplished. “The time is near.” It thought inwardly, slowly swimming in depths uncharted by any man in existence. “And soon we shall take action against those who defile our land.”
A grin slowly stole itself across the beast’s face, a smile that would chill the heart of even the bravest man. It was a smile of malice, as if it thought of the chaos it would soon unleash upon the land and was amused by the idea. A maelstrom of fury was about to break upon the world, and only a few pivotal creatures could stop it from its deadly course. The fury of Kyogre and Groudon would be unstoppable. Unless, of course, action was taken now, by the few creatures that had the power or the chance, to stop it. And they didn’t even know that they had to do.
Unbeknownst to Kyogre, another legend was stirring - a forbidding sense of doom was troubling its formerly peaceful slumber. Something was being disturbed and its anger was building. Lugia, Guardian of the Sea, and the one who knew the legends of old, could tell that something was happening, since this was foretold in the old tales. The beginning was now set in motion, and if things didn’t go well, chaos greater than what anyone - even thoughts bringing it about - could even imagine would be unleashed. It would destroy indiscriminately, until nothing was left of the world but a speck of dust. Of course there was hope, since the legend also foretold of those who could stop the destruction.
So, shaking its mighty wings, she knew the others would be summoned. That or they would all die in the destruction. And no one wanted that right? Well, almost everyone didn’t want that.
“Well, At least it won’t be boring.” She said, a hint of a smile appearing on her face as she rose up from the depths to grace the surface once again; it had been the first time in decades.
Fishermen didn’t often go to this spot, mainly because there were legends whispers of a legendary bird that made its roost there, and if it should awake, you would face its wrath and never see the light of day again. But this man put little stock into legends, considering them simply childish tales told to children when they asked for a bedtime story. His first few moments at sea in the area had made him almost entirely forget the legends, because the fish seemed to jump onboard the ship. (Which was a small motorboat, most of it taken up with by the ice chest that he used to store fish.) The light metal of the boat allowed it to go faster in the water, and that caused its name, the Blue Flash, to be born.
The chest was soon filled with the bountiful catch, but something caught his eye. The water around his ship seemed to be frothing and bubbling slightly. He wasn’t too worried, but then it grew wider, and he looked around before a roar came out and his boat was carried up, a silver tornado of water carrying his boat to the nearby island, and dropping it. The tornado dispersed to reveal the mighty bird, who, with a flap of its wings, shot off in the distance, towards who knows where. The mighty bird had given him a wink before shooting off, a smile on its face.
He was shaking, but he soon realized his boat’s bottom was ground up. He didn’t know how he was going to get home, but to his surprise, he found a few silver feathers in his boat. Their sheen seemed dazzling, and he pocketed them, before he saw a passing boat and shot up a flare. The boat came and got him and his load of fish, while wondering how his boat had appeared there. The man, knowing full well they wouldn’t believe him, said that it had been a monster wave.
He soon returned home, and went straight to the library of legends. When his friends asked why all the sudden he believed in them, he smiled, and said, “Well, you never know when the legends might show themselves.” They didn’t ask more after that, though when it came to the legends, he soon became an authority.
Ho-oh, bird guardian of the lands, was surveying the terrain all around him, a smile of contentment on his face. It was so nice of the humans to build a really tall tower for him to look over the region with, it made thing so much easier. Then, the summons was called, a loud piercing cry, which only was heard by those who were called to gather. A grin spread across his face. “Good, good,” he said slowly, “It was getting boring doing nothing.” With a flap of his wings, he rose up in the air, and flew across towards the summons place, wondering which dire prophecy would come about this time. They had always led to a fun time, even a few close shaves when things had turned sour. Well, this would be fun, nonetheless.
Drifting though the air, a pink Pokemon heard the cry, and true to fashion, a grin appeared on her face. What else would you expect from mew? Smiling, she was off like a rocket, flying to the summons area. “Yay, a gathering! It was getting lonely!” She said as she soared off. She didn't get to often meet other legendaries, and it would be nice to catch up on things.
A cloaked figure stood, silent as three Pokemon surround it. One of them jumped, and a hand shot out of the cloak, blue light appearing as the Pokemon froze, as if the air all around it had just suddenly turned solid. The other two leaped at different angles, one becoming frozen. The cloaked figure disappeared, the third figure hitting the ground. The figure reappeared up in the air, and was about to throw a Shadow Ball at them, when the summons came. Sighing, since he was about to finish them off, he flew off, cloak rippling in the wind.
“Always at the most inconvenient time.” He said, while the three Pokemon were thrown bodily away from the place, about a mile, before hitting the ground. They didn’t trouble him again, that was for sure.
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Post by xxphenomenonxx on Feb 23, 2009 21:10:47 GMT -5
(Here you go Reece. New change. If I bolded something AND it's in italics, that means you should probably put it in italics in just italics in the actual final draft. Hope I'm helping ya. ^^ If not, let me know. )
Chapter One- Beginnings
Reid smiled to himself slightly, a smirk if you would, which soon transformed into a grin as he sighed happily. "Finally! Took it long enough." The computer chirped at him, letting him know it was finally done with whatever it might be working on. His fingers flew across the keys, before stopping and grabbing the printout he just made.
Finally, their weeks of hard work had paid off and he went out to the window, reminiscing on how he had gotten to this point right here, right now, after finishing such long task. He was proud of his work, but it was kind of interesting to reflect on.
It had been a year since he moved here, arriving at this small, backwater town, in the region of Tuvalen. It hadn't even been on the map back then. The only reason anyone knew about it was that someone had recently discovered gold there, and the mining company had come to prospect the nearby mountains. They only brought in a few families at first, since they didn't want to do a full operation until they knew the mountains held enough gold to make it worthwhile.
They soon discovered that it was in fact rich, and more came, though most stayed in a few large cabins near the mountain. Now None of this would should have mattered to Reid, save that if you were going to mine, you needed large amounts of electricity, and the town wasn't made to provide for it. So, his family and his best friend’s family all moved there to supervise the work. So they had relocated from happening Aquamarine City and into this backwater dump.
Now when the work was done, instead of moving back, his parents decided that this was a better place to raise him for a while:; it had a more positive atmosphere. Meaning he had no friends – save his best one – who had moved with him to this town. But this was soon left by the wayside when they began exploring together.
There were rumors about abandoned ancient ruins nearby, and to the then 15 year-olds with nothing else to do, it had been too tempting to resist. They were supposedly to the south, so they trampled all over the countryside, until they had gone as far as they could within a day’s reach. So, Unperturbed, they went farther a field, exploring until they really figured there was no way they were out here. But by then, this duo had become a trio, with the addition of one other.
First, there was Dirk, his comrade in arms, despite the differences. Reid was wiry, 5’9 and growing, while Dirk was holding steady at 5'6 and had the build of a gorilla. Reid had brown hair and blue eyes, while Dirk had blond hair and a mesmerizing green color, at least to girls it seemed. When personality came into play though, the differences shrank.
He and Dirk were both smart, and both wanted to be scientists, but Dirk wanted to be the next Indiana Jones, getting the world, finding ancient ruins, and making home in time for breakfast. He also wasn't shy about flirting. Reid, meanwhile, X was not so grandiose in his thinking, being more down to earth on what he’d do. Extremely sarcastic at times, he often made comments about how cliché Dirk was, but he wasn't always a fountain of sarcasm. He planned on being an engineer or an archaeologist studying the ancient myths, which he found fascinating.
Still, like any young man, Reid had dreams of being an adventurer, so when Dirk talked about the ruins, he couldn't help but want to explore. They hadn't found anything, but by the time they had reached going out for overnight hikes, they had a companion. Allie.
Allie was unlike most girls; she wasn't afraid to get down and dirty, planning on being an engineer herself, or a forensic investigator, both were appealing to her interests. Similar to Reid, she was extremely sarcastic, and tough, which often led to many cynical remarks. Still, she didn't sacrifice being a girl, keeping up and sometimes passing Reid and Dirk while still remaining just as good looking as before, which was a constant source of wonder for the two males of the group.
They had met one time when she wondered what they were doing, and had tagged along; they knew each other, so this only strengthened the bond between the three. Still, after going as far as they could, they decided on a whim to go west, and sure enough, in a few hours, they found a massive wall of stone, which instead of giving up, they just climbed over the next day and, after another two hour walk, they finally had reached their goal.
The ruins were amazing - very well preserved because of the rain shadow effect of the nearby mountains. They had looked all over and found some writing. They sketched and photographed it, before returning home for the long hard project of deciphering it - which had quickly become a chore to the whole trio.
They had worked for two weeks with little headway on it, before Allie, full name Amalia, decided to check if perhaps this was a different version of a known language. So, after they did, sure enough, it was, and they set to work, doing another two weeks with more progress, until Reid, the one with the computer skills to run the program, had finished it. That was the printout he had in his hand right now.
It was quite the accomplishment, at least in Reid’s eyes, but what the tablet said was intriguingly vague. Most was just daily life chronicling, but one part of it stated, "Tonight we learned that the place of writing was opened, and I fear for what might be inside. We have called a meeting to discuss it." What was intriguing, was that they hadn’t found any other writing besides this, so obviously that meant there was more somewhere. But where?
Just then, a blaring ringing sound came out of his phone, and startled Reid out of his reminiscing. Smiling, he knew that would be Dirk, he had called three times tonight, this being his fourth, and he always asked the same question.
“So, you done?” Came the strong masculine voice.
“Yep. I was just about to talk to you, in fact.”
“So what does it say?” Dirk said, an eager note in his voice as he said that.
“Something intriguing to say the least. Apparently it’s a journal, and most of it’s just his life as he recorded it, but one passage stands out. He says the place of writing had been opened, and it was apparently creepy. They called a meeting over it at least." They both mused over this, then a beeping on his handset alerted him to a new caller. “Hold on, someone’s calling.”
He clicked the receiver to add the new person in, and said, “Allie, good to hear you, you and Dirk seem to have good timing.”
“That was a surprise?” Dirk said, and Reid shot back,
“Yeah, normally it’s the seventh time you call that you finally get it right.”
A light laugh came, and a feminine voice asked, “So, what does it say?”
Reid smiled and stated, “Well, basically it says that there’s more writing, apparently important or scary enough to call for a town meeting.”
“I could have sworn we checked everywhere,” Allie said, a puzzled note in her voice.
“I know.” Grumbled Dirk, who had to move the heavy rubble, being the only one of the group who could do it.
“Well, I guess we best go back!” Reid said;, an excited note in his voice.
“No, lets ditch it and never figure out what they mean. Live in suspense the rest of our entire lives!” Allie remarked, sarcasm dripping from her words.
“Same time, same place?” Reid asked, and they both replied:
“Yep. See ya later!”
“See ya!” Was all he said, and then hung up. Smiling to himself, he called out to his parents he was leaving tomorrow, and was slightly puzzled by their seemingly eager replies of yes. Hmm, must want him out of the house. Laying Lying back, he realized that in a few days, he would finally get his Pokémon, a Growlithe, when he turned 16, the new age for trainers, since sending kids out at the age of 10 sometimes proved fatal. So, when he returned, he could finally set out. He had been looking forward to his birthday for a while, and as such, he kind of was nervous.
Dirk and Allie already were sixteen, but they had decided earlier that they would all go out as a group, and as such, being the youngest, as soon as he got his Pokémon, he would be out. That happy thought in mind, he drifted off into sleep. He couldn’t wait to go out and experience the real world.
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Post by Reid on Apr 3, 2009 18:28:50 GMT -5
Okay. For all those who care, this is the true chapter five. DX my numbering was off. BUT! This is 7 1/2 pages long, so sit back and be prepared for a read!
Reid woke to the smell of sizzling bacon. It wasn’t unusual on camping days, since Allie loved to get up early and cook, but all the same, it still was a wonderful way to wake up. Yawing the sleep from his body, he got up, dressed in his pajamas, and managed to get into his normal wear without waking up Dirk. Opening the flap, he walked out into the warm air, and said, “Hey,” to Allie, who was cooking.
Allie was wearing an ashamed look, and turning to him, started “Look, about last night,” before being cut off by Reid.
“Its okay Allie, don’t’ worry about it. You were just stressed out at all this. Its fine, we all were.”
Allie, smiling slightly, said “Thanks. I don’t know what came over me though.
“Its okay. More important, when will the food be ready?” Reid said, grinning.
“You guys and food! Your just as bad as Dirk you know!” She said laughing, “Only a few more minutes actually.”
“Thank Arceus!” Dirk said grinning widely as he emerged from the tent, dressed. Reece turned to look at him, shocked.
“But you were just sound asleep!” Reid said, incredulously. “And miss a meal? Not likely,” Dirk said, smirking.
Allie just laughed, saying, “Hah. You sound shocked Reid. We best get ready to ration here, otherwise you’ll eat us out of food in a flash!”
“It can’t be that bad!” Dirk said, disbelieving.
“Check the map then,” Allie replied.
“After breakfast guys, we need to eat first, unless you like burnt food.” Reid broke in, to mutual agreement, since the breakfast had finished cooking.
Pulling up places, each took their potion, and dug in, finishing quickly and then attending their tasks. Dirk cleaned, Allie finished her makeup, which despite the boy’s attempts to reason out of, she insisted on finishing, and Reid studied the map. Dirk soon joined him, and Allie soon after that.
The Tuvalen region consisted of two large islands, and one small one. They were about four days by boat from Johto, 3 from Hoenn, and 3 from Shinnoh, give or take a few hours on each one. Due to its nearly central position between the regions, they were busy with trade, having several port towns, and were major in the trading of materials. The largest trading city was called Jasmine city. That town was about 3 hours by car away from the city, but on foot, that would take considerably longer. Most of the eastern island was forest, with lots of Pokémon species inhabiting it, while this island was more grassland. Both had extensive mountain ranges, actually old volcano’s but most were extinct.
The smaller island held only a small city, and a ancient ruin, known as the giants anvil. It got its name from how flat it was among a bunch of hills, and a volcano which had worn away to look somewhat like a hammer.
“So what’s our best course?” Allie asked, wondering.
“Well, we’re here,” Reece said, pointing to the mouth a valley, “ and we need to get here,” he said, finger pointing to a city on the coast. “Problem is, that’s about 60 miles away from here. So, I propose we head two miles over to the highway, and then see if we can get a ride into the city. That will be a lot quicker than just walking 60 miles.”
Dirk, having studied the map too, nodded, saying “ Makes sense.” Allie, however, was not sold on this idea. “Hitch-hike? That’s pretty risky.”
Reece laughed, and said “You want to walk 60 miles to the city?”
Allie replied quickly, “No, but I don’t want to get abducted either.”
Reid nodded, since she was right, that was a chance, but then said “Look, we still have to go that way. Lets break camp, and we can decide when we get there.”
They all agreed, and then went about breaking camp. Dirk soon released Mark, who he had burn up the food scrapes, saying it gave him practice controlling his flame. After doing so, the Cyndaquil walked over, and pleaded with Dirk to let him be carried on his shoulder, which Dirk eventually relented too. Casey, which had been let out by Allie, was helping pack, but due to the fact she was walking, and not floating, she was too slow, and was soon picked up, since she was getting in the way. Reid meanwhile, was busy dealing with his Growlithe, who had decided to play fetch with a bunch of tent spikes. Still, despite their Pokémon’s best attempts, unwitting though they may be, they managed to pack up in a timely manner, and with their Pokémon in their places, Mark on Dirks shoulder, Casey resting on Allie’s and Michael running ahead in the forest, they were off. Not much happened on the way, save that Casey often complained about the pace, saying “ You know, at this rate, we’ll be halfway to middle age before reaching Jasmine city!”
Still, despite her predictions, they had managed to reach the highway by noon, and decided to follow it for a while, until the forest gave way to grassland, which upon Dirk stated happily “Well, time to eat!” Michael, hearing the word food, barked happily, scaring the poor Cyndaquil, who was just barely saved from hitting the ground by Dirk’s quick reflexes. Allie and Reid laughed at this, while Michael just wagged his tail, oblivious.
Settiling down, they grabbed a quick meal from their packs, feeding the pokemon first, then grabbing their own, turkey sandwichs. “Mmmh tasty,” Dirk, said wolfing down his sandwich in a flash, already halfway done. Reid looked on shocked, as he was barely a quarter of a way though is own sandwich, while Allie just smirked, eating hers politely.
“How did you eat that so fast?” Reid asked, still shocked.
“Trade secret.” Dirk said, grinning as he ate though to the last quarter.
“So now there is a profession for eating fast?” Allie commented, holding back laughter.
“Of course! Eating contests anyone? That’s how I plan to pay my way though college!” Dirk remarked, sounding all the world like he honestly meant to do that.
“Now I have to be the serious one? Come on, that’s no fair,” Reid said, finally causing everyone to break out laughing, while the Pokémon just looked at them as if they were crazy.
“I don’t see whats so funny.” Casey said, shaking her head. “Seems to me you need a better sense of humor.”
Allie grinned, and said “Hey! Its not a crime to laugh you know!” Casey just rolled her eyes, causing the group to laugh more. Soon all of them were finished, and they were off once again, walking down the highway. A few cars passed by, but none stopped, so they didn’t have to address if they should get in or not. A few hours passed like this, until they reached a turn off, with a sign saying “Scenic Vista”. Allie immediately wanted to go see, and Dirk agreed, so they dragged Reid off to see, it, despite his wishes. It was an amazing sight. They were at the edge of a cliff, that dropped into the sea, and it was incredible. Ocean waves battered at the rocks, which stood firm against the eternal onslaught. Wingull flow overhead, crying out while a few Buizel played in the waters underneath.
Reid, however, spent little time admiring the site. What he saw was more important. A couple, were waving to them, beckoning them over. What really drew his eye was their truck though. Perfect. “Hey look!” Reid said, poking Allie and Dirk in the side to draw their attention. The couple had drawn closer, and as they approached, they called out a greeting.
“Hey! Hey there! Can we ask a favor?”
Allie and Dirk looked at them, surprised, but Reece jumped on it, saying “What do you want?”
“Well my wife and I just got married…”
“Really? And your honeymooning here? How romantic,” Allie said, smiling. She was a hopeless romantic, it was one of the few reminders that she was a girl, and Dirk and Reid hated it. They didn’t mind the fact she was a romantic, but she was over the top about it.
The woman smiled at Allie, and said, “Well, yes it is! And I thought it would be just wonderful to have our first battle as a couple up here. Do you mind?”She said, smiling warmly at them.
Reid, seeing a free ride in the making, said “If we do, can you take us to Jasmine city?”
“I don’t see why not,” The man said, then added “We’ll head over there anyway for our hotel. Oh, and by the way, I’m Joseph, and this is my wife Sarah.”
“Nice to meet you! I’m Reid, this is Allie, and He’s dirk,” Reid said, pointing to each in turn, all whom said a polite hello, waving. “So, what are our rules for this?” Allie asked, all business now that a battle was in the making.
“Double battle, one Pokémon each.” Sarah said, grabbing her pokeball and throwing it out, releasing a Shroomish, while the man released a Machop.
After conferring amongst themselves for a bit, Allie and Reid stepped up, while Dirk was the referee, a formality to make sure no one tried to break any rules. As the four Pokémon took their place, Casey grinning slightly as she faced down the Machop, while Michael seemed to shake, out of excitement or anxiety Reid wasn’t sure, Dirk started to talk. “Rules are, double battle, first one to faint both Pokémon is the winning team. Now, the battle begins, when my hand drops,” He raised his hand, then as he dropped it, he said “Fight!”
Thus began the first fight of Reid’s life. This would not prove to be the last, not by any means.
As the hand dropped, Reid grinned, and started off, saying “Michael, use Ember on the Shroomish!” With a grin, the Growlithe opened its maw, and started to spit out a few small flames, which upon landing on the Shroomish, flared up, causing it to roll around in a panic before they died, making Reid grin.
Allie meanwhile, watched in shock as Josephs Machop ran up to Casey, and used a karate chop, though Casey seemed unfazed by this. Allie then called out, “Confusion!” Casey retaliated, using her powers to attack the Machop’s mind. It dropped to its knee’s holding its head, and Allie grinned. Things were working great, but Reid didn’t appear so happy. That was because the Shroomish was attempting something, something he didn’t like the look of.
“Stun spore Shroomy!” Sarah said, and the mushroom Pokémon shook itself, spores launching into the air straight at the two opposing Pokémon. Casey, seeing the threat, had managed to avoid the mass of spores, but Michael failed to be as lucky. It inhaled a good amount of them, and started to stiffen up, slowing down as he whined, it hurt, but more of was numbing his body. It was hard to move.
“Shit.” Reid said to himself, as he saw that it had hit, luckily the spores weren’t that effective when they reached the trainers having spread out, so they just covered their faces with their cloths for a bit to prevent any unwanted side effects.
Joseph then called out “Focus energy Machop!” The Machop looked around, then started to pump itself up, hitting its fist against one another and then nodding, mind set on how he could most effectively deal damage.
Casey looked at it mockingly, as if pitying it, as Allie called out “Confusion again Casey!” She once again attacked the poor Machops mind, focusing her energy for a few seconds, then withdrawing, tired.
“Use absorb on the Growlithe Shroomy!” Sarah said, as the Shroomish ran over, a vine extending out of the mushroom Pokémon to latch onto Michael and sap energy, of course, little was taken, but Michael still winced in pain.
“Payback time Michael, use ember!” Reid said to him, and Michael agreed, grinning and showing his fangs as he once again spat out embers at the Pokémon, making contact and flaring up, causing the Shroomish to drive to the ground, rolling to put out the flames.
“Machop, Use Karate Chop!” Joseph said, making Allie grin. It hadn’t worked before, so it shouldn’t’ work any better this time, but of course, fate had a different idea for this round. As the Machop ran at the Pokémon, its arm extended in a chop, which connected, and sent Casey flying. As she hit, she seemed to not move for a second, before a shudder ran though Casey, and she got up.
“I’ll show that muscle bound idiot who’s boss!” Casey said, resolutely, determination writ on her face. Allie cheered at this, and said “That’s right! Use confusion again!” Once more the Ralt’s mind attacked the Machops, and this time, she finished him. Spinning slightly, he fell over backwards, and was out like a light. Joseph withdrew his Pokémon, while Allie grinned.
“Oh I’ll get you for that!” Sarah said, and then shouted out “Leech Seed Shroomy!” The Schroomish shot a series of seeds at Casey, who despite her best attempts, was hit by a few, those taking sprout.
“Michael, Retaliate with Ember!” Michael opened his mouth, ready, but then seemed to freeze up, coughing and gagging, before regaining control of himself, though he missed his chance to move. Reid cursed softly, angry at his situation. This was not a good place to be in.
Casey gave out a cry of pain as the leech seeds did their work, sapping her health, while the Shroomish shook slightly, healing. Allie however, was not one to be denied her own. “Confusion Casey!” Allie called out, and Casey gave a nod. Once again, she focused her mind and attacked the Ralts, energy shooting out at it. The Pokémon took a hard hit, and Sarah winced.
“Retaliate with absorb Shroomy!” She said, and the shot out a vine, which touched it and sapped its health, not for major damage, but Casey was already on the ropes. Still, despite the combined effect of the leech seed, and absorb, she had managed to hold on. Allie gave her command, saying, “Finish this with confusion!” Casey focused, nearly falling over in her exhaustion, but once more attacked the Pokémon’s mind, and it seemed to almost work. It teetered on the edge, but summoned up some inner reserve, and retaliated.
“Finish that pesky Ralts with absorb!” the woman said, and the Shroomish did just that, once more using absorb on the Ralts. Still, Casey seemed to hang in there, a fearsome growl on her face, until the leech seed hit, and she fell down, laying there. Allie ran over, picking up Casey, and cushioned her, saying “Great job!”
Reid gritted his teeth as he saw Casey fall, and nodded his head to himself. Just him and Sarah in this. Michael versus the Shroomish. “Ember!” Reid cried out, and Michael responded eagerly, flames shooting out of his mouth to once again land on the Shroomish, causing it to roll around, before putting them out.
Sarah frowned, then said “Use pound! Its got to be weak!” The Shroomish launched itself at the Pokémon, preparing to hopefully end the fight with one last pound. It was met with fangs.
“BITE!” Reid shouted out, and Michael snarled, leaping at the encroaching shroomish. They collided in mid-air, much to the Shroomish’s shock, and he landed his attack, biting down on it before dropping back, landing on his feet with a slight stumble. The Shroomish, however, was not so lucky. It hit with a thud, and as it tried to stand back up, collapsed back down, and fainted. Reid had won his first battle.
“How, how, how did you do that? You were paralyzed,” Sarah said, shocked. Reid only grinned at this.
“Cheri berry. I found one on our trek, and figured it might be useful. Turns out it was. Used it while you and Allie were going at it,” Michael sat down next to Reid, tired, but grinning, like a winner who had fought hard for his victory, and was glad to have it. “Wow. Smart move there.” Sarah grudgingly acknowledged, and then smiled. “Thanks. It was a lot of fun!”
Reid nodded, smiling, and then said, “Same here. You almost had me there for a second.”
Allie grinned, and said “Not bad for your first time Reid.”
Reid grinned, blushing slightly embarrassed and said “You and Casey did most of the work. I just had to mop up.”
Dirk ran over to the pair, grinning like a maniac and said “You two were great! Wonderfully done!” Mark had ambled over to Michael, and was busy dancing around happily, while Michael grinned, wagging his tail and barking happily.
Casey, who by now had returned to consciousness, gave a feeble grin, and asked them all “Did…we win?”
The gang all nodded in unison, and Reid chimed in “You were great! Michael could learn a thing or two from you!”
That made her smile, and she sighed, soon slipping back into sleep. Meanwhile, the couple they had fought was busy talking amongst themselves, and when all parties had finally regrouped, they all shook hands, and money was offered, though Reid declined, saying “Your giving us a ride. That’ll work fine for payment.”
Joseph soon asked them all, “You all ready?”and at their nod, had replied “Well, lets head on back! Its getting late, and our Pokémon need healed.” They all agreed heartily, and soon were in the car, Dirk and Reid at first attempting to ride in the bed of the truck, but within twenty minutes, were cold, and wanted in. After that, it passed rather uneventfully, friendly banter passing between them all as they speeded on their way to Jasmine city, unaware of what awaited them there.
They were deposited about five blocks away from the Pokémon center, where the couple said their farewells, and then were off, driving to their hotel. Dirk, Allie, and Reid all waved goodbye, then hoofed it the rest of the way to the Pokémon Center.
“Finally a good bed! It seems like forever since I last slept in one!” Dirk grinned, walking into the PC, or Pokémon Center for short. Reid laughed and agreed, while Allie just rolled her eyes, muttering something about how it was only a day ago. The two guys ignored her.
Reid and Allie headed over to the nurse on deck, while Dirk arranged for their rooms. In most regions, PC’s put up trainers on their journey, for only ten dollars, providing you didn’t ruin the room. Reid and Allie handed over their pokeballs, and soon had them returned good as new, though the nurse said they needed to rest outside of their pokeballs for the night.
Dirk soon was over, smiling slightly and saying, “We got a room! Number 204.” Reid grinned, as second story rooms were often preferable to the few that were left on the ground floor, considering the amount of traffic they could have at any point in the night. They all shouldered their packs for one last time, and headed off into their rooms.
Upon reaching the rooms, which were two pairs of bunkbeds, Reid took the bathroom, demanding that Allie wait to be last, considering how long she took. He took a quick shower, freshening up after their prolonged trip into the wild, and Dirk followed suit, both of them changing into their PJ’s while Allie finished the night, all three soon retiring to bed. They all were bushed.
“Night you guys.” Reid said, Michael barking his goodnight while the Cyndaquil gave a squeak of a reply.
“Night guys.” Dirk said, stretching out on the top bunk, he’d lost their rock paper scissors contest for bottom bunk, and soon was fast asleep.
“See ya in the morning.” Allie said, relaxing in the other bottom bunk, as she always got her own, claiming it was her right.
“Night.” Casey said, resting on the top bunk, as she was the only Pokémon who could safely reach that spot, and soon, all three were deep asleep.
That night, Reid had a dream.
He was running. Not just running, but running away as if the hounds of hell were salivating at his heels, ready to jump and rip him bloodily limb from limb. A person ahead was calling for him to go faster, they were going to catch him, but his feet wouldn’t respond, they were leaden. Looking back, he saw a man, face shrouded in a mask, who cackled manically, and told him, “Come to me! Stop running, it’s futile!”
“No! Don’t listen to him!” The kid, who looked to be about 17, said, reaching out for him. Reid knew he had to keep going, but as he reached out, he tripped, landing on his face. The man was soon on top of him, laughing manically, before shooting him with something. He woke up in a flash of pain. He had rolled out of bed, hitting himself in the side painfully. Wincing slightly, he looked around, realizing that it was just a nightmare, and sighed. It had seemed so real though! He’d never had a dream like it. Still, it was just a dream, he told himself, and climbed back into bed. Still, his heart was racing, at the thought of that man, the faceless man. Who was he? And why did he send chills up his spine, as if he was staring at death itself? Despite these thoughts, the soft snoring of Dirk in slumber soon lulled him back to sleep, where he dreamed no more.
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Post by xxphenomenonxx on Jun 2, 2009 3:53:43 GMT -5
FINALLY. Reece, I'm so goddamn slow but please forgive me, oh my god. Lol. Geeze. -facepalm- I owe you big time.
If it's like this then it's something I changed/switched around or added in, like maybe a word or a phrase. I sometimes use this to emphasize where to put punctuation as well, or to even fix a spelling mistake.
If I put it like this, then in your actual story, I suggest you put a word in italics to give it more kick and make the conversation have more character.
If you see this, I'd prefer if you take it out. I only sometimes use this, to show you both the bold suggestions and the original concept next to each other, so you have an easier way of choosing which one you really want to use.
Reid woke up to the smell of sizzling bacon.
It wasn’t unusual on camping days, since Allie loved to get up early and cook, but all the same, it still was a wonderful way to wake up. Yawning away the sleep from his body, he got up, dressed in his pajamas, and managed to get into his normal wear without waking up Dirk. Opening the flap, he walked out into the warm air, and said, “Hey,” to Allie, who was cooking.
Allie was wearing an ashamed look, and turning to him, started, “Look, about last night,” before being cut off by Reid. but before she could get in a word edgewise, Reid cut her off.
“Its okay Allie, don’t’ worry about it. You were just stressed out about at all this. It’s fine, we all were we’re fine; everything is okay.”
Allie, smiling slightly, said, “Thanks. I don’t know what came over me though.”
“Its okay. More important, when will the food be ready?” Reid said, grinning.
“You guys and food! You’re just as bad as Dirk you know!” She said laughing, “Only a few more minutes actually.”
“Thank Arceus!” Dirk said, grinning widely as he emerged from the tent, dressed. Reece turned to look at him, shocked.
“But you were just sound asleep!” Reid said, incredulously.
“And miss a meal? Not likely,” Dirk said, smirking.
Allie just laughed, saying, “Hah. You sound shocked Reid. We best get ready to ration here, otherwise you’ll eat us out of food in a flash!”
“It can’t be that bad!” Dirk said, disbelieving.
“Check the map then,” Allie replied.
“After breakfast guys, we need to eat first, unless you like burnt food.” Reid broke in, to mutual agreement, since the breakfast had finished cooking.
Pulling up places, each took their potion and dug in, finishing quickly and then attending their tasks. Dirk cleaned, Allie finished her makeup, which despite the boy’s attempts to reason out of, she insisted on finishing, and Reid studied the map. Dirk soon joined him, and Allie soon after that.
The Tuvalen region consisted of two large islands, and one small one. They were about four days by boat from Johto, 3 from Hoenn, and 3 from Shinnoh, give or take a few hours on each one. Due to its nearly central position between the regions, they were busy with trade, having several port towns, and were major in the trading of materials. The largest trading city was called Jasmine City. That town was about 3 hours by car away from the city, but on foot, that would take considerably longer. Most of the eastern island was forest, with lots of Pokémon species inhabiting it, while this island was more of a grassland terrain. Both had extensive mountain ranges, actually some of which were old volcanoes but most were extinctthat were now dormant.
The smaller island held only a small city, and an ancient ruin, known as the Giants Anvil. It got its name from how flat it was among a bunch of hills, and one of the volcanoes surrounding it had worn away to look somewhat like a hammer.
“So what’s our best course?” Allie asked, wondering.
“Well, we’re here,” Reece said, pointing to the mouth a valley, “and we need to get here,” he said, finger pointing drifting over to a city on the coast. “Problem is, that’s about 60 miles away from here. So, I propose we head two miles over to the highway, and then see if we can get a ride into the city. That will be a lot quicker than just walking 60 miles.”
Dirk, having studied the map too, nodded, saying, “Makes sense.”
Allie, however, was not sold on this idea. “Hitch-hike? That’s pretty risky.”
Reece laughed, and said, “You want to walk 60 miles to the city?”
Allie replied quickly, “No, but I don’t want to get abducted either.”
Reid nodded, since she was right, thinking of the risk, but then said, “Look, we still have to go that way. Let’s break camp, and we can decide when we get there.”
They all agreed, and then went about breaking campwith their usual routine. Dirk soon released Mark, who he had burn up the food scraps, saying it gave him practice controlling his flames. After doing so, the Cyndaquil walked over, and pleaded with Dirk to let him be carried on his shoulder, which Dirk eventually relented too. Casey, which had been let out by Allie, helped to pack, but due to the fact she was walking, and not floating, she was too slow, and was soon picked up, since she was getting in the way. Reid meanwhile, was busy dealing with his Growlithe, who had decided to play fetch with a bunch of tent spikes. Still, despite their Pokémon’s best attempts, unwitting though they may be, they managed to pack up in a timely manner, and with their Pokémon in their places, Mark on Dirk’s shoulder, Casey resting on Allie’s and Michael running ahead in the forest, they were off. Not much happened on the way, save that Casey often complained about the pace, saying, “ You know, at this rate, we’ll be halfway to middle age before reaching Jasmine City!”
Still, despite her predictions, they had managed to reach the highway by noon, and decided to follow it for a while, until the forest gave way to grassland, upon which Dirk stated happily “Well, time to eat!” Michael, hearing the word food ”eat”, barked happily, scaring the poor Cyndaquil, who was just barely saved from hitting the ground by Dirk’s quick reflexes. Allie and Reid laughed at this, while Michael just wagged his tail, oblivious.
Settling down, they grabbed a quick meal from their packs, feeding the pokemon first, and then grabbing their own turkey sandwiches. “Mmmh tasty,” Dirk said, wolfing down his sandwich in a flash, already halfway done. Reid looked on shocked, as he was barely a quarter of a way though is own sandwich, while Allie just smirked, eating hers politely.
“How did you eat that so fast?” Reid asked, still shocked.
“Trade secret.” Dirk said, grinning as he ate through to the last quarter.
“So now there’s a profession for eating fast?” Allie commented, holding back laughter.
“Of course! Eating contests anyone? That’s how I plan to pay my way though college!” Dirk remarked, sounding for all the world like he honestly meant to do that.
“Now I have to be the serious one? Come on, that’s no fair,” Reid said, finally causing everyone to break out laughing, while the Pokémon just looked at them as if they were crazy.
“I don’t see what’s so funny.” Casey said, shaking her head. “Seems to me you need a better sense of humor.”
Allie grinned, and said, “Hey! Its not a crime to laugh you know!” Casey just rolled her eyes, causing the group to laugh more.
Soon all of them were finished, and they were off once again, walking down the highway. A few cars passed by, but none stopped, so they didn’t have to address if they should get in or not.the topic of hitchhiking again.
A few hours passed like this, until they reached a turn off, with a sign saying “Scenic Vista”. Allie immediately wanted to go see, and Dirk agreed, so they dragged Reid off to see, it, despite his wishes.
It was an amazing sight. They were at the edge of a cliff that dropped into the sea, and it was incredible. Ocean waves battered at the rocks, which stood firm against the eternal onslaught. Wingull flow overhead, crying out while a few Buizel played in the waters underneath.
Reid, however, spent little time admiring the site. What he saw was more important. A couple were waving to them, beckoning them over. What really drew his eye was their truck though. Perfect. “Hey look!” Reid said, poking Allie and Dirk in the side to draw their attention. The couple had drawn closer, and as they approached, they called out a greeting.
“Hey! Hey there! Can we ask a favor?”
Allie and Dirk looked at them, surprised, but Reid jumped on it, sayingasking, “What do you want?”
“Well my wife and I just got married…”
“Really? And you’re honeymooning here? How romantic,” Allie said, smiling. She was a hopeless romantic, it was one of the few reminders that she was a girl, and Dirk and Reid hated it. They didn’t mind the fact she was a romantic, but she was over the top about it.
The woman smiled at Allie, and said, “Well, yes it is! And I thought it would be just wonderful to have our first battle as a couple up here. Do you mind?” She said, smiling warmly at them.
Reid, seeing a free ride in the making, said, “If we do, can you take us to Jasmine city?””Sure. We have no problem with that. Right guys? But, we’re kind of in a jam ourselves. We need to get to Jasmine City, and we don’t have a ride. If it’s not too much trouble, in exchange for the battle, could we get a lift?”
“I don’t see why not,” The man said, then added, “We’ll head over there anyway for our hotel. Oh, and by the way, I’m Joseph, and this is my wife Sarah.”
“Nice to meet you! I’m Reid, this is Allie, and he’s Dirk,” Reid said, pointing to each in turn, all of whom said a polite hello, waving.
“So, what are our rules for this?” Allie asked, all business now that a battle was in the making.
“Double battle, one Pokémon each.” Sarah said, grabbing her pokeball and throwing it out, releasing a Shroomish, while the man released a Machop.
After conferring amongst themselves for a bit, Allie and Reid stepped up, while Dirk was the referee, a formality to make sure no one tried to break any rules. As the four Pokémon took their place, Casey grinning slightly as she faced down the Machop, while Michael seemed to shake, out of excitement or anxiety Reid wasn’t sure, Dirk started to talk. “Rules are, double battle, first one to faint both Pokémon is the winning team. Now, the battle begins, when my hand drops,” He raised his hand, then as he dropped it, he said “Fight!”
Thus began the first fight of Reid’s life. This would not prove to be the last, not by any means.
As the hand dropped, Reid grinned, and started off, saying, “Michael, use Ember on the Shroomish!” With a grin, the Growlithe opened its maw, and started to spit out a few small flames, which upon landing on the Shroomish, flared up, causing it to roll around in a panic before they diedthey ebbed away, making Reid grin.
Allie meanwhile, watched in shock as Joseph’s Machop ran up to Casey, and used a karate chop, though Casey seemed unfazed by this. Allie then called out, “Confusion!”
Casey retaliated, using her powers to attack the Machop’s mind. It dropped to its knees, holding its head, and Allie grinned. Things were working great, but Reid didn’t appear so happy. That was because the Shroomish was attempting something, something he didn’t like the look of.
“Stun Spore Shroomy!” Sarah said, and the mushroom Pokémon shook itself, spores launching into the air straight at the two opposing Pokémon. Casey, seeing the threat, had managed to avoid the mass of spores, but Michael failed to be as lucky. It inhaled a good amount of them, and started to stiffen up, slowing down as he whined. It hurt, but more of the spores were numbing his body. It was hard to move.
“Shit.” Reid said to himself, as he saw that it had hit, luckily the spores weren’t that effective when they reached the trainers having spread out, so they just covered their faces with their cloths for a bit to prevent any unwanted side effects.
Joseph then called out, “Focus Energy Machop!” The Machop looked around, then started to pump itself up, hitting its fist against one another and then nodding, mind set on how he could most effectively deal damage.
Casey looked at it mockingly, as if pitying it, as Allie called out, “Confusion again Casey!” She once again attacked the poor Machop’s mind, focusing her energy for a few seconds, then withdrawing, tired.
“Use Absorb on the Growlithe, Shroomy!” Sarah said, as the Shroomish ran over, a vine extending out of the mushroom Pokémon to latch onto Michael and sap energy; of course, little was taken, but Michael still winced in pain.
“Payback time Michael, use Ember!” Reid said to him, and Michael agreed, grinning and showing his fangs as he once again spat out embers at the Pokémon, making contact and flaring up, causing the Shroomish to drive to the ground, rolling to put out the flames.
“Machop, Use Karate Chop!” Joseph said, making Allie grin. It hadn’t worked before, so it shouldn’t’ work any better this time, but of course, fate had a different idea for this round. As the Machop ran at the Pokémon, its arm extended in a chop, which connected, and sent Casey flying. As she hit, she seemed to not move for a second, before a shudder ran though Casey, and she got up.
“I’ll show that muscle bound idiot who’s boss!” Casey said resolutely, determination writ on her face. Allie cheered at this, and said, “That’s right! Use Confusion again!” Once more the Ralt’s mind attacked the Machops, and this time, she finished him. Spinning slightly, he fell over backwards, and was out like a light. Joseph withdrew his Pokémon, while Allie grinned.
“Oh I’ll get you for that!” Sarah said, and then shouted out, “Leech Seed, Shroomy!” The Shroomish shot a series of seeds at Casey, who despite her best attempts, was hit by a few, those taking sprout.
“Michael, retaliate with Ember!”
Michael opened his mouth, ready, but then seemed to freeze up, coughing and gagging, before regaining control of himself, though he missed his chance to move. Reid cursed softly, angry at his situation. This was not a good place to be in.
Casey gave out a cry of pain as the leech seeds did their work, sapping her health, while the Shroomish shook slightly, healing. Allie however, was not one to be denied her own. “Confusion, Casey!” Allie called out, and Casey gave a nod. Once again, she focused her mind and attacked the Ralts, energy shooting out at it. The Pokémon took a hard hit, and Sarah winced.
“Retaliate with Absorb, Shroomy!” She said, and the pokemon shot out a vine, which touched it and sapped its health, not for major damage, but Casey was already on the ropes. Still, despite the combined effect of the Leech Seed, and Absorb, she had managed to hold on.
Allie gave her command, saying, “Finish this with Confusion!” Casey focused, nearly falling over in her exhaustion, but once more attacked the Pokémon’s mind, and it seemed to almost work. It teetered on the edge, but summoned up some inner reserve, and retaliated.
“Finish that pesky Ralts with Absorb!” the woman said, and the Shroomish did just that, once more using Absorb on the Ralts. Still, Casey seemed to hang in there, a fearsome growl on her face, until the Leech Seed hit, and she fell down, lying there. Allie ran over, picked up Casey and cushioned her, saying, “Great job!”
Reid gritted his teeth as he saw Casey fall, and nodded his head to himself. Just him and Sarah in this. Michael versus the Shroomish. “Ember!” Reid cried out, and Michael responded eagerly, flames shooting out of his mouth to once again land on the Shroomish, causing it to roll around, before putting them out.
Sarah frowned, then said, “Use {ound! It’s got to be weak!” The Shroomish launched itself at the Pokémon, preparing to hopefully end the fight with one last pound. It was met with fangs.
“BITE!” Reid shouted out, and Michael snarled, leaping at the encroaching Shroomish. They collided in mid-air, much to the Shroomish’s shock, and he landed his attack, biting down on it before dropping back, landing on his feet with a slight stumble.
The Shroomish, however, was not so lucky. It hit with a thud, and as it tried to stand back up, collapsed back down, and fainted. Reid had won his first battle.
“How, how, how did you do that? You were paralyzed,” Sarah said, shocked. Reid only grinned at this.
“Cheri Berry. I found one on our trek, and figured it might be useful. Turns out it was. Used it while you and Allie were going at it,” Michael sat down next to Reid, tired, but grinning, like a winner who had fought hard for his victory, and was glad to have it.
“Wow. Smart move there.” Sarah grudgingly acknowledged, and then smiled. “Thanks. It was a lot of fun!”
Reid nodded, smiling, and then said, “Same here. You almost had me there for a second.”
Allie grinned, and said, “Not bad for your first time Reid.”
Reid grinned, blushing slightly, embarrassed and said, “You and Casey did most of the work. I just had to mop up.”
Dirk ran over to the pair, grinning like a maniac and said, “You two were great! Wonderfully done!” Mark had ambled over to Michael, and was busy dancing around happily, while Michael grinned, wagging his tail and barking happily.
Casey, who by now had returned to consciousness, gave a feeble grin, and asked them all, “Did…we win?”
The gang all nodded in unison, and Reid chimed in, “You were great! Michael could learn a thing or two from you!”
That made her smile, and she sighed, soon slipping back into sleep.
Meanwhile, the couple they had fought was busy talking amongst themselves, and when all parties had finally regrouped, they all shook hands, and money was offered, though Reid declined, saying, “Thank you, but please, keep it. You’re giving us a ride. That’ll work fine for payment.”
Joseph soon asked them all, “You all ready?” and at their nod, had replied. “Well, lets head on back! It’s getting late, and our Pokémon need healed.” They all agreed heartily, and soon were in the car. Dirk and Reid at first attempting to ride in the bed of the truck, but within twenty minutes, were cold, and wanted in. After that, it passed rather uneventfully, friendly banter passing between them all as they speeded on their way to Jasmine City, unaware of what awaited them there.
They were deposited about five blocks away from the Pokémon Center, where the couple said their farewells, and then were off, driving to their hotel. Dirk, Allie, and Reid all waved goodbye, then hoofed it the rest of the way to the Pokémon Center.
“Finally a good bed! It seems like forever since I last slept in one!” Dirk grinned, walking into the PC, or Pokémon Center for short. Reid laughed and agreed, while Allie just rolled her eyes, muttering something about how it was only a day ago. The two guys ignored her.
Reid and Allie headed over to the nurse on deck, while Dirk arranged for their rooms. In most regions, PC’s put up trainers on their journey, for only ten dollars, providing you didn’t ruin the room. Reid and Allie handed over their pokeballs, and soon had them returned good as new, though the nurse said they needed to rest outside of their pokeballs for the night.
Dirk soon was over, smiling slightly and saying, “We got a room! Number 204.” Reid grinned, as second story rooms were often preferable to the few that were left on the ground floor, considering the amount of traffic they could have at any point in the night. They all shouldered their packs for one last time, and headed off into their rooms.
Upon reaching the rooms, which were two pairs of bunkbeds, Reid took the bathroom, demanding that Allie wait to be last, considering how long she took. He took a quick shower, freshening up after their prolonged trip into the wild, and Dirk followed suit, both of them changing into their PJ’s while Allie finished the night, all three soon retiring to bed. They all were bushed.
“Night you guys.” Reid said, Michael barking his goodnight while the Cyndaquil gave a squeak of a reply.
“Night guys.” Dirk said, stretching out on the top bunk, he’d lost their rock paper scissors contest for bottom bunk, and soon was fast asleep.
“See ya in the morning.” Allie said, relaxing in the other bottom bunk, as she always got her own, claiming it was her right.
“Night.” Casey said, resting on the top bunk, as she was the only Pokémon who could safely reach that spot, and soon, all three were deep asleep.
That night, Reid had a dream.
He was running. Not just running, but running away as if the hounds of hell were salivating at his heels, ready to jump and rip him bloodily limb from limb. A person ahead was calling for him to go faster, they were going to catch him, but his feet wouldn’t respond, they were leaden. Looking back, he saw a man, face shrouded in a mask, who cackled manically, and told him, “Come to me! Stop running, it’s futile!”
“No! Don’t listen to him!” The kid, who looked to be about 17, said, reaching out for him. Reid knew he had to keep going, but as he reached out, he tripped, landing on his face. The man was soon on top of him, laughing manically, before shooting him with something.
He woke up in a flash of pain. He had rolled out of bed, hitting himself in the side painfully. Wincing slightly, he looked around, realizing that it was just a nightmare, and sighed. It had seemed so real though! He’d never had a dream like it. Still, it was just a dream, he told himself, and climbed back into bed. Still, his heart was racing, at the thought of that man, the faceless man. Who was he? And why did he send chills up his spine, as if he was staring at death itself? Despite these thoughts, the soft snoring of Dirk in slumber soon lulled him back to sleep, where he dreamed no more.
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