Stepping Stones [Skie]

[Kaine McAllister]

[Realized Remoor needed some in character stuff. Kristie and I decided to go ahead and finish up an idea we had a long time ago, a ways back. Yes, it involves KandyKaine. >.> You don't have to read it if you don't want. Lol.]

Boring.

This damn job was boring.

By the time the paperwork made it around to his end of the spectrum, it was still only half read, half done and not reviewed at all. Most paperwork moved through the ranks, from the simplest secretary desks to the full blown Ranger recruits with years of experience under their belts, and finally up to the head honcho, Reid. But before most of it was ever cleared for the boss and ready to be signed, there were the few people in the base that had the daunting task of reading mission statements over, reviewing reports and signing off on it themselves. Sometimes, that meant combing through records, reading a section two or three times, speaking with the respective Ranger to whom the assignment had been given…and writing down any extra information that was forgotten, like supplies used, money wasted, profit earned, and of course, noting any possible injuries, deaths or failures.

It was. So. Depressing.

And Kaine McAllister rolled his shoulders and cracked his neck, reaching back to ease the ache he’d had since getting up that morning. He must have slept wrong, because every time he turned his head too far right…well damn it, it hurt terribly for one, and two, it was so damn aggravating. As he pressed the palm of his hand against the side of his neck and turned his head slowly, wincing below his visor as the ache erupted again…he gave in to an impulse he’d been holding in all morning. He slapped a manilla folder full of papers against the floor and left them there, letting out a frustrated and exhausted groan.

”I can’t. Do this. Anymore.” He grunted, the sound a little strained between his teeth as he stared at the corner, still testing that crick in his neck that wouldn’t go away. In a half hazard motion, he sat up a bit and made it worse, grimacing as he rolled his shoulder in an effort to forget the sharp pain for a moment. Seconds ticked by, until finally he relented, lowering his hand from his neck and crashing against the soft cushion behind him: a large beanbag sprawled out on the floor. “Skie. You have my permission to burn every piece of paperwork in this room.” Even so, his words were hollow and forced, hardly meaningful as he stared up at the ceiling to her room, frowning. He was still…a little aware of that small, almost unnoticeable gap between them. But as of late his noticing it…seemed to come easier and easier.

It made him.

Feel sad. And disappointed in himself, as if he’d done something wrong without knowing it. Somewhere deep down, he felt he owed her a sincere apology…but apologizing for what had happened to her...it only upset things further. There were times he was too wary of it, and felt a little sick every time he thought about the things that had transpired in his absence. Skie could take care of herself..but he promised himself ages ago that she wouldn’t ever really have to. He’d look out for her too. He failed to do that, he hurt her terribly, he abandoned her after tearing her down, nearly killing himself in the process and trying to spare her from anything Alexander might…try. A small piece of him still felt justified in what he’d done and said to her.

He nearly wound up dead, that day. Amnesia was maybe, the best that could have happened. But he’d never wish that fate on her. Even with the amnesia, there were still injuries.

But then.

His brown eyes softened as he turned his head, glad that the crick in his neck would not bother him when his eyes fell on Skie across the room. Not surprisingly, the Rangers were behind in their paperwork. All those missions, all the important events they had to tend to..and of course, those damn Pravus assholes, certainly weren’t making things any easier on the base and its inhabitants. Kaine felt as if these last few weeks had him busier than most, and the feeling was mutually shared everywhere. Everyone was doing something, everyone was catching up on the work that was left behind when the in-field jobs were done for the day: the reports, the paperwork, the checking, the lists, the contracts…damn near every mind numbing project ever thought of. It even tired him out, just thinking about that, but at least…some good had come out of it.

When he caught up with Skie this morning, she’d been assigned to the same cluster of paperwork that he had to review. Though he knew she wouldn’t like it much, and he rarely ever needed a partner for the task, the base couldn’t afford anyone not doing something. So naturally, when she was saddled with the same job, well. … He was more than relieved. She had a habit of making him feel comfortable. He…loved her. He knew that now, and he struggled with the truth of that on a daily basis. He didn’t want to ruin what he had with her. And yet. Some part of him desperately wanted to try, just so he could finally admit to his feelings and get rid of the guilt weighing on his shoulders. Things were warmer, fun…when she was around. Though he wished she could have been given a task much more suited to her…because knowing Skie, she damn well wasn’t liking this at all, and was probably just as bored with it as he was.

And he hated for her to be unhappy. It irked him terribly.

Still. Having her with him was a plus, and it offered him some more time alone with her. Ever since he had her back, the friendship they used to have had somehow…reaffirmed its foundations and grown stronger. Being around her for hours on end made them both happy, and even if he could never, ever tell her what he actually felt for her…he still valued what he had. It was more than enough, to keep him happy.

Still.

What had happened to her. He’d grown more frustrated with paperwork like this, and occasionally when he looked at her, he’d remember those damn scars she was hiding. He’d remember what Pravus had done to her, he’d remember not being there to stop it. … He loved her. Seeing her hurt, finally realizing the full extent of what they’d done and actually watching her…have insecurities about it, made him feel murderous to Pravus. No one deserved that treatment, especially not Skie. Not her. It would never change the way he felt about her, but it was still apparent that from time to time, he wished he could have stopped it all from happening. … He might have killed Alexander if he had known that’s what all of that would lead to, simply because of his inability to be there…and protect her.

Maybe in some small way it proved that he shouldn’t admit the truth to her. He failed to keep her safe, without even knowing he was in love with her before, though he promised he would. He wasn’t certain if he could just…vow to do the same, only through a romantic notion. It wasn’t fair to her. And even if he spent the rest of his life, regretting his decision to keep quiet…

Skie was happy. And that was all that mattered to him. He’d endure some of the worst suffering imaginable if it meant she was happy.

“How many do you have left?” He asked, growling it out under his breath. He sighed softly, still watching her from his place across the room. Her room. Damn if under normal circumstances he wouldn’t have loved to stay and chat in here with her for hours, or joke around, or offer to take her to Lesterfield…or bring up some new battle strategy or…something. Whether she knew it or not, he was more content here than anywhere else in the base. Skie had been with him for…well. Too many years for her to mean anything less…and whenever he was around her, things seemed a little brighter, even in some of the lowest moments. Right now, Skie and himself were the only two people in her room. Not a single one of her Pokemon were with her, and neither were any of Kaine’s.

…

Too bad, that he had either sent them off, or they were lounging about with nothing to do. Pokemon, especially certain Muks that couldn’t grab a paper without ruining it, or Crobats that had no fingers to grab a pen with…or even a certain Cubone who was completely oblivious on what to do with reports…were just useless when it came to the paperwork around the base. Granted, there were a few exceptions, but very few trainers actually wanted to put their Pokemon through the dull task that their masters had to bear. That would be a sore punishment. And Pokemon often had their own freewill. They hated to do paperwork themselves.

“…Damn it, I’m so tired,” he muttered, feeling a little unlike his usual self. He felt exhausted in fact, but that probably had to do with the fact that he was sorting through a hell of a lot of papers that had more “Failure”s stamped across their surface than “Success”. Very depressing work. And very time consuming. He hated it, now more than ever. And it was rare for him to complain about work. So he couldn’t imagine what Skie must be feeling about it.

…

Hm.

He smirked a bit, eyes flickering over to her below his visor. “Give ya a chocolate bar if you do mine for me. … I got all the damn crappy ones. Apparently we fail at life, here. And…” he paused, thinking. “No wait, that’s pretty much it.” It was rare for him to crack a joke at his own job as well, particularly in reference to how the Rangers functioned, but then again. He’d been sitting in here with Skie for hours, filling out paperwork and reading the most depressing junk imaginable. With no breaks. And his neck was hurting. And he was tired.

….

“…You haven’t been drawing on yours, have you?” He could see it now, and he smiled at the thought. Skie would probably be one of the few people to do such a thing if she was really annoyed or completely spacing out on an assignment as dull as this one. “I went through…” He paused, beginning to count off on one hand, pausing as it came to five. “I think seven or eight already.” That sounded a bit like a challenge. “And if you’ve been drawing on yours, then they’re not going to accept them. Which means you’ll get disqualified. And I win. You owe me a java chip mocha frappuchino with two extra shots.” He smirked. “Seriously. How many have you done?”

[Skie Loon]

(( This post is blah, and you know it. xDDD ))

If you gave the girl two minutes, she could write you up an impressively lengthy list of things that were more fun than what she was doing. And another two minutes she’d have an even longer list of things she’d rather be doing.

At this point wrestling a Feraligator was on that list. She wasn’t exactly loving this job.

Paperwork?
Never her thing.
Always more of a hands-on type that liked to go out into the field, that's what she was. Flying over to the Citadel with either Rawk or Brute (or both) to pick up something the base needed. From supplies to, on the occasion, a new recruit, or someone interested in the job at least.
‘Cause at least in those jobs, she’d be moving. At least during those missions she would be doing something that didn’t make her feel like thumping her head against something hard—like a rock—or rubbing her eyes until they fell out because she was sure all of this printed crap was just going to stay in her head, so she’d see little black, floating text wherever she looked. It was driving her crazy.

She wasn’t used to this. Especially as of late—she liked moving around. She was still lazy, sure, but ever since she and Kaine had started up the whole…training thing, sitting around in one place didn’t seem as…well, appealing. Not like it used to be.
Even now she could almost hear her body muttering at her under its breath. “The hell are you doing,” it would growl. “You’ve been at this for hours. Hours. Without. Moving. Whatiswrongwithyou.”

But she knew it was important. And Kaine was stuck with the same thing, so…it wasn’t so awful. As long as he was there.
She felt…safe with him. People often take that feeling for granted. Feeling…as if nothing can get you. Secure. She never took him for granted. Never. Especially not since…she got him back. Not since she came back, smuggled out of that place, and dropped off only to be found by him. Someone she’d thought she’d never see again.
Damn. She thought he was dead. And that thought, that mindset, still haunted her. Still made her shiver. Made her cling to every moment she had with him, which, to her delight, were growing in number.
Couldn’t blame her really. If you knew.
She was in love with the man, after all. Her best friend. She’d do near anything for even a small piece of time with him. Pushing him away, avoiding him...it seemed so wrong now. Not worth it. Ridiculous.

And she was happy enough to almost ignore the need to share the deeper set feelings she had for him when he was around. But...hn. No. She couldn't do that.
That would wreck everything wouldn't it?
Things were so much easier between them now. Before he vanished and she was yanked off to Pravus, things had been so damn distant and difficult between them. It was awful. But nowadays it was smoother. She could still feel some sort of little bridge between them. One that both of them seemed hesitant to cross, but she didn't mind so much anymore. Even if it did...bother her, that things still felt..bumpy at times. Even if it was just a little. If Kaine McAllister was with her...pft. She was set.

Even if she was bored out of her mind doing paperwork.

...

Speaking of which.
She should probably get back to hers, hm?

Gah. She really. Really. Really. Didn't want to keep doing this junk. Hers weren't exactly 'motivation-material'. Lots of negative crap that almost forced her mind to wander every now and then, needing a break, because she was the sort that hated to dwell on the bad things. If this was paperwork telling her that, "Yay! The Rangers are doing just SO AWESOME right now *place a rainbow sticker here*" she might have been in a better mood. She was actually feeling pretty mopey. Even sluggish, despite the parts of her that wanted to just run around in circles or something.

The girl stretched her arms over her head, letting out a near silent yawn, enjoying the quiet of her room. Their Pokemon were all elsewhere in the base, finding better things to do than paperwork. She'd feel so damn guilty even asking them to help out, even if none of them really could. Them and their lack of thumbs or whatever. Engine and Brute might have been able to...do something. But still.
Guilt.
She didn't want to ask any of them to do this crap. Bleh.

She was perched at the foot of her bed, her back against the wall and the paperwork spread out on the orange blanket in front of her on the mattress (and her bed was actually made up today, oh my God). Her eyes darted up for a second, and landed on Kaine McAllister, resting on one of the beanbags in her room. And for a second she felt sort of silly, not having a desk or something to let him use. ...He looked sort of funny down there, and she smiled to herself for a second before looking back down at the folder spread out for her. She should get a desk, yeah, if this sort of thing was going to be happening, even only now and then. He didn't look too happy, and she did notice him wince when he turned his head a certain way. Though she, honestly, never much liked the things. They seemed...well, desks seemed very uncomfortable. She got more work done when she was comfy, most of the time. Though about now she was regretting this place to do all the work because she was oh so tempted to just flop over and fall asl—

The girl blinked, jumping at the sound of the manila folder striking the floor before glancing up at the white-haired man again, surprised at the sudden break in the quiet silence she'd grown used to. But she smiled at the frustrated growl in his voice. She shifted a little, letting her legs hang off the side of the bed instead of keeping them crossed under her after moving the folder from the blanket to her lap as she watched him flop into the beanbag completely.
"...Pf," she grinned, glad for the little distraction from her own workload. "I'll have Brute torch 'em. How's that sound?" she laughed a little at the image, but knew it was...meh. Her shoulders sagged a little, and she let her head rest against the wall, watching him quietly. If only if only, right?

Ugh, how many left?

Her eyes moved to the 'finished' pile, and then slid slooowly over to the 'to do' pile.

There was a noticeable difference.

"...A lot." she sighed, thumping the back of her head against the wall lightly, staring across the room at one of her doodle-covered walls. "I have a lot." She looked back down at the papers on her lap, scribbling a few more things onto one of the sheets while she mumbled. "I hate paperwork stuff. How can you stand doing it all the time? This is like hell, I swear." She grinned, laughing a little.

The girl glanced up at him again, twirling her pencil in her fingers distractedly. Maybe a bit of concern flashed behind her eyes as she watched him. "Take a break," she offered, though paused, because pft. He was already looking pretty comfy, paperwork not in hand. "I mean...you know." She shrugged. "Go...to sleep or something. Like a nap. If you're tired." she muttered, pencil tip moving across the paper again.
Though truth be told all this nonstop...stuff was wearing her out too. Like hell if she didn't just feel like flopping over on mattress and conking out herself. She knew how he felt, minus that obvious bit of pain he must have had in his neck. And again, more concern bubbled up.

Another laugh. "Don't tempt me. Seriously. I could use a chocolate bar so bad right now." She dropped her pencil onto the blankets beside her, finally finishing up the last bit of that folder and putting it off to the side. She reached up and ran her fingers through her hair, brushing a large chunk of ever-there bangs out of her face before they dropped back into their usual place. In all honesty, just like him, this stuff was just depressing her. "You too?" she muttered. "I thought you must have gotten all the good ones and I got stuck with the bad ones. There's really that much? Ugh. ...We're not doing so hot, huh?" she pulled her hand away from her forehead and stared at her fingers for a second.

They really weren't. New recruits were a rare species, and Pravus was just getting...stronger.
The girl shuddered for a second, closing her eyes and ducking her head. She didn't like to think about them. Lots of unpleasant thoughts came to mind. About one thing or another. And Skie found herself tugging at her sleeves a little, forcing them farther down her wrists, sighing. "Makes it even worse 'cause it doesn't feel like we're doin' much. You know? Stupid paperwork." She laughed though, bringing her legs up and wrapping her arms around them, resting her chin on her knees. She watched him, grinning, and glad for the break. And she didn't want to sink into any sort of gloomy mood, or pull him into one with her.
All that work was damn gloom enough.

"But yes, Kaine, I agree," her tone changed, sounding completely serious, despite her grin. "We fail at life." She laughed, shaking her head and pressing her forehead into her knees. Hnf, she was sleepy. Though her laughter trailed off, and she raised her head again a bit, peering at him with a raised eyebrow.
...Draw?
......Did she?

She actually had to check.

She knew she had a tendency to zone out. To let her mind wander while her body still lugged on doing whatever.
So when she lowered her legs again, letting them touch the floor on the side of her bed so she could comb through a few of her completed files, she couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed when, yeah, there were little drawings on the paper here and there. Did Kaine know her, or what?
She shook her head, laughing anyway. "D-don't look at me. Stop it." she glanced up at him every other second, glaring at him and that tone in his voice like a kid who'd been caught with her hand in the cookie jar, glaring at the parent for dropping them in the 'time-out' corner. "I just...forgot something," she said as she grabbed up the pencil and proceeded to eraser-burn off the little squiggles. Little swirls and shapes here and there. But she laughed out loud when she found a little picture of what could only have been Brute in a bow. And she laughed at that.

And she almost tore the paper when she pressed the eraser so hard into his name. Because Holy shit. Shehadwrittenhisnameandputlikefiveheartsaroundit.

What the hell was she.

A little kid with one of those little-kid crushes?

...Tch. Well. Evidence gone. And she made a mental note not to zone off ever again, if stuff like that ended up happening. Jeez.

And she was glad for the distraction, feeling a little flushed when she focused on the rest of what he'd said. "After I...uh. Fixed them up." she gave him a look, smirking because he really did know her better than anyone. "I've done..." She glanced at the 'finished' pile one more time. "F...Five? Five." She paused. "Butomigosh, that doesn't mean I'm playing. I'm not gonna feed that coffee addiction of yours. Jeez." She laughed, smiling at him, eyes flashing blue. "I mean seriously, how can you drink that stuff? Coffee is....ew." She stuck out her tongue and shook her head, flattening her palms out on the mattress behind her and leaning back, looking every bit as lazy and worn out as she felt. "Chocolate's...way better," she told him for what was probably the millionth time since she'd known him, breaking the words with a half yawn.

"...Does paperwork always make you this tired?" She looked at him, where his eyes would be behind that visor. "'Cause man, I don't envy you and all the paperwork stuff you do all the time if it is. I feel like I'm gonna just..." she reached up, balancing on one hand, and traced a finger across her throat, letting her head roll to one side. "Bleh." she dropped her hand back behind her, evening her weight out again. "Keel over." And that was a mix of everything. Nonstop work plus what the work was really about. Too much negativity to keep her going like this. "You've got some freaky strong patience, did you know that?" She smiled, a bit of deep-set admiration showing through it.

"...Is your neck okay?" She finally heard herself ask. She'd wanted to ask him about it since she first noticed him wincing. "I mean did you...twist it or something?" She shifted again, leaning forward again, resting her elbows on her knees as she stared at him, eyes resting on the spot in question. "You didn't get in a fight or something and not tell me, did you?" She was joking when she asked, but there was still an edge to it. A bit of seriousness, because she really was worried about him. Him in pain was just never okay.

[Kaine McAllister]

[Lol pft. xD Kaine. And your post was good. .__. Stop that. Lol I laughed. xD Yay for people zoning out. xDDD]

God, he loved her.

The laugh arose in his throat regardless of what she said, though he turned his gaze back towards the ceiling, listening to her erase whatever doodles she made. A part of him was curious, and if he were feeling more energetic, he might have started a game by rushing across the room and snatching up a few papers to see what she did. As things were now though, he merely sat up, grinning to himself as his laugh died down.

“Uh huh. Yeah, okay.” Absently, his hand returned to that spot on his neck as she counted off what she had done and relayed it to him. “Wow. That’s just. That’s slow.” He smirked as he turned to look at her again. “God, Skie, pick up your game. Expected better, geeze.” But obviously, the serious edge that might have expected to accompany those words was absent as he ducked his head and started laughing again. Now that the paperwork was out of his hands, silence wasn’t necessary. However, his grin slipped and he turned, brow twitching at her as she went on.

“What? I don’t have a coffee addiction.” He frowned, growling under his breath. “Uh. No. Coffee is not ‘ew’. It tastes good. And it wakes you up. And it...” his mouth fell open a bit, slightly astonished. “…have you even tried coffee?” Yeah. Possibly. Because he’d only jokingly tried to get her to do so many times since they’d been together. “Chocolate’s too sweet. It’s good every now and then. Chocolate. Is okay.” He snorted, breathing out a slight growl but grinning anyway.

Figures that they’d have an argument about coffee and chocolate when they were supposed to be doing paperwork. He almost sighed as she brought it up again.

“Ha. Funny.” But he paused, his grin falling a bit as he watched her. “Sometimes it does. But never like this.” He reached up and removed his visor from his face, cocking a brow down at it as he turned it over in his hands. The world was suddenly a mix of bland grays, whites and blacks again. It only added to the slight, hazy feeling that was muddling up his thoughts. “Like you said.” His thumb absently moved over the side of the cold metal. “We’re not doing so hot lately.” As he grumbled it out, his other hand continued to move over the sore area in his neck, making him roll his shoulder again before he winced. Thinking about all the bad had him thinking about what happened to her again.

His eyes flickered over to her, softening for just a moment before he glanced away. Finally, managing to recover, he said, “Most of the time it’s at least half done. We’ve just been overwhelmed lately I guess. And I don’t like turning in half assed work so I try to get as much as I can covered. Reid’s mind is already overwhelmed by half the things going on in this Region. Don’t need to add needless paperwork information to it. If we can get it done..why not?” But he sighed anyway, feeling irritable, but grinned slowly at the compliment.

“I know. Aren’t I awesome? You should totally love me for it.” His grin nearly faltered as he realized what he said and laughed to cover the truth about how much he wished she really did. Damn emotions, always surfacing at the wrong times. Now that he had her back, ruining everything, especially because of a little slip up and a joking suggestion like that…hn. Under normal circumstances, he wouldn’t even have noticed it, and he would have said it anyway, without feeling any sort of conflict over it. But now.

He glanced at her as his laughter began to fade, curious as to a reaction. He loved her now. And that suggestion, however playful it’d been and un-serious it seemed..made his heart jump a bit in his chest. He still couldn’t get over it sometimes. But at least she was happy, and he smiled, forgetting the screw up for a few moments. “No, but really. You get used to it after a while. I’m just sorry you had to sit around and do this.” He sighed, closing his eyes and shrugging. “You’re better at in-field work. I know you love that more than this, and I can’t blame you. Hell, who would like hearing about this junk?” He smirked. It felt easier now, to simply move away from the thought of his unrequited feelings (or so he assumed), when he realized that everything was better now. He could take care of her.

And not all the bad news in the world would change the fact that he was with her right now. No, it couldn’t change a damn thing. “But really. Doodles or no.” He grinned, opening one eye to look at her. “Thanks for helping out. Honestly, wouldn’t have it any other way. Best partner in the world to be stuck doing paperwork with.”

If he’d been stuck with anyone else, he probably wouldn’t have lasted as long as he did. Certainly not on these. He side glanced the manilla folder he tossed on the ground before jerking his head away, his brow twitching again and an agitated growl building in his throat. Yeah. Definitely wouldn’t have lasted this long. Still. As he turned his head, that ache came back and he grimaced slightly, jaw clenching as he pressed the palm of his hand completely against the area.

Is your neck okay?

He blinked, snapping out of a trance he’d been in for a few minutes while trying to pacify the ache. “Huh?” When the words finally caught up to him as she continued, he snorted. “I’m alright. I just..ha. Did I twist it. Skie. I’m pretty sure if I twisted my neck, I’d be in big trouble.” He laughed, grinning again. “No but…I don’t know. I think I just slept wrong. It happens sometimes. They go away but it just…until they do it hurts like hell, you know? I can’t even look the other way without-“ He hissed between his teeth, killing the conversation in a heartbeat when he made the smallest motion to test it out while he was speaking. “Nnnope. Definitely can’t do that without making it hurt.” He groaned, wincing again before he sighed.

It was so warm in here. He loved Skie’s room for it, because his was usually cooler. He didn’t have a huge Charizard to toast the place up or any other really large Pokemon for that matter to take up space. Her room was comfortable, not only because he was with her, but it just felt..more relaxing. Less intimidating, maybe. He sat up a bit more, rubbing his neck carefully as he mulled over a few things. He was tired. The paperwork needed to get done. But he wanted to speak with Skie too.

“It’s okay. Honest. They go away after a while. Just needs a little time.” Kaine noticed, on a number of occasions that her concern for the smallest things seemed to increase. He hated to worry her over nothing, and right now he sensed that hidden tone below the surface that indicated some genuine concern. And in an effort to console it, he jokingly added, “Yeah. I’ve been fist fighting in the Pits without telling you. Tomorrow night I’m going for the champion’s title. The last guy pulled a fast one, but he got his in the end. I let him win for like two seconds. Helped to boost his ego. The ladies loved it too. Thought I was done for. And just at the last minute, when all hope seemed lost…I stopped playing around, threw him back and knocked him out. Should have seen it. The crowd was cheering.” He paused, smirking, feigning so much pride. “Yeah,” he sighed, “had to give quite a few people these…autographs or whatever they called them. Made me write my name on their shirts and stuff. And the cameras just couldn’t get enough of my good looks.”

He turned a wolfish smirk on her, his eyes flashing before the façade fell and he laughed. Ha. He was such an idiot. After a few minutes of humoring his own act, his eyes softened and he returned his gaze to her. “No. But. It’s okay. It just hurts a bit. It’s nothing big, really. Just makes me feel a little more tired than usual. And hurts a bit too, but nothing bad.” He shrugged, still smiling. “It’ll leave eventually.”

[Skie Loon]

(( Lol Skie's totally thinking about feeling Kaine up near the end, I just know it xDDD Pft. But lol, sorry of this post seems...bleh. I know it sure as hell fells 'bleh' |: And lol. Tell me if I gave you enough to respond to. Like for srs. xD ))


Pfftwhat.

"Slow? Hey." She tried her best to look mortally offended. "Don't go insulting the newbie's skills. Maybe you're just an awful paperwork...teacher. Guy. Shut up." She cleared her throat. "Five is a very...lucky number. Remember that movie? With like, Snow White or something. There were five dwarfs weren't there?" She paused, thinking for a moment. "...No. Wait." Shit, there were seven of those little buggers, weren't there? ...That wasn't important. "Five's a lucky number." she told him. "Eight's...unlucky. I can see it now. Next time you go to get a cup of that coffee of yours you'll like, spill it all over your shirt. Just tilt it up and it'll miss or something." She winked at him. "Blame that number of yours."

She shook her head, laughing. "Try coffee? I have tried it. Remember? You were there. They had to call in the paramedics. One sip and I was on my back, in total shock 'cause it was just so gross."


...hokaywhat.
He did not just say chocolate was okay. He was mad.

"You're crazy!" she stared at him, crossing her arms. "You've lost your mind. First you say you're not addicted to coffee, and then you say chocolate's an 'okay' thing." Not that she'd heard those same exact words from his mouth so many times before, but it was almost like a playful routine now when it came to the topic of their sugar and caffeine. "...I think you're just jealous." she told him, very serious with her tone. "I mean, you're obviously just...upset because you can't grasp how awesome chocolate really is. Aw," she frowned a little, faking a sad, pitying look on him. "It's alright, Kaine. Don't worry--I understand completely. Your coffee addiction...it's because you don't get chocolate. Right? You poor thing." She seemed to sigh, placing a hand lightly on one of her cheeks, acting just the part of a distressed damsel. "So deprived."
She could only keep a straight face for so long though, and in a second her little act broke and she was laughing again, shaking her head.
"Seriously, dude, you're just jealous. 'O-Kay'. Yeah well coffee's just like, never."

Her grin eased away then, after her laughter died down. "Good thing then, though. If paper work got this bad all the time." she moved, leaning back against the wall again after twisting to get a kink out of her back, "I'd be a lot more worried about you." She looked at him quietly, watching as he removed his visor, but watching him instead of the piece of metal. She liked it when he took it off around her. He'd been doing that since they first met, but every time he did, she remembered, and appreciated, the fact that he didn't really do that around just anyone. Not really. And she liked the fact that...he was comfortable around her. It made her feel comfortable too.
Warm.
Safe.
Kaine always made her feel just...hm.

She started, blinking in surprise when she came out of her thoughts, noticing only then that she'd been staring right back into his brown eyes when he'd turn to look at her. "Y-yeah," she nodded, shrugging. "And that's frustrating. I mean...Nng. I just wanna help out. Everywhere I can. And it's...it's hard. We've got a lot to do, and this paperwork stuff isn't exactly the best motivation out there. I'd love to see a few happy reports, talking about how awesome someone did on a mission instead of ones talking about...well." she sighed. "You know."

But you're right. This is helping anyway, isn't it?" she smiled a little. "Even if it's just a bunch of negative paperwork..crap, it's still a load off our shoulders and everyone else's when we get it done. ...I feel like I'm rambling and trying to make us feel better about doing all this." She smirked, ducking her head and laughing a little.

Though she didn't exactly feel her heart stop when she heard what he said next, she did need to swallow back something that made her heart beat just a little faster.
"Pfft. Oh fine." she shook her head, grinning and completely ignoring the strange feeling in the back of her skull. "I totally love you for it. Like. A whole lot. Mmkay? Are we happy?" The girl smiled. Funny how she meant that. She could remember a time when him saying those simple, but still genuine words didn't make her heart flip around in her chest. Even though she knew he could never say them and mean what she desperately wanted him to mean. And it wasn't that it made...it more difficult. She would find herself slipping up now and then and muttering that forbidden phrase in some form loud enough for him to hear at times. And every time that happened she couldn't help but picture what it would be like if...if he understood. And...repeated the words back to her. How she wished he would.
...Maybe it did make things harder. But she didn't care. Not really. Not to a point where it made her truly unhappy.

Emotions can be difficult things to manage, hm?

"I don't mind," she said quickly enough, blinking at him, blue gray eyes almost wide. "I mean, I'm not saying this is like awesome work to be doing. But. You know. Like you said. Pft. It's gotta get done."
Her eyes flashed then, lighting up. Best partner hm? She almost flushed at that. But she murmured what could have been considered a shy thank you before she shook that off. "Partner. Well yeah, I wanted to swoop in and rescue you from doing all this by yourself. What sort of partner would I be if I didn't, hm? A bad one, that's what." Another laugh. "But...seriously. I'd rather do all this with you than anyone else. Pft. Rather my best friend..." she glanced down at her hands, folding them together, fingers entwining.

She meant that to. She'd rather do anything with him rather than anyone else. If she got to pick, Kaine McAllister would be on the top of her list, hands down.

She laughed though, amused, when he seemed to growl at the paper he'd tossed on the floor again. "It's not gonna bite you, Kaine. Don't worry, it can't get you." she cooed.

The next bit had her laughing even more. Harder.
And you really couldn't blame her. Like at all. That was pretty good. But seriously. Kaine was...just pft.

"D...Don't even!" she barked, grinning in spite of what he was saying. "Don't even say that! I'll just...agh," she reached out to her side, snatched up a pillow and actually threw it at him. It missed, though, hitting the side of the beanbag instead of him really, but she was still laughing too hard to really pay attention to that. "Gah. K-Kaine. You idiot. Omigod. Just. Just shhush. Shut up. Or I'll..." she snorted, the laughter beginning to fade a bit. "I'll throw another pillow at you. Pft. You. Autographs. Yeah right." she teased, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms. "I don't believe the ladies part for a second either. Pft."

...But joking aside; "Kidding aside. Except the part about you and your non-existant ladies-man...ness." she waved a hand lazily in the air. "...You sure you're okay?" She didn't like it. Even something as simple as this. If it made him...hurt. Well. It'd be obvious enough that she would want to try anything to stop it.

"..." She paused for a second, eyes never leaving him. "..Pf. 'Eventually'." She actually rolled her eyes and shifted again, standing up off the bed, being careful not to disturb any of the papers on the mattress though. "Always gotta be the..tough guy huh." she grunted, breaking her words halfway through as she plopped down behind him and the beanbag, making herself comfortable there. "Can I try something? Maybe I can help it leave quicker." She reached out for him slowly, thoughts surprisingly calm and her heart thudding along only a little quicker than it usually would.

"Here. Just sit still." She scooched herself a bit closer, her knees touching against the beanbag with a soft crunching noise.

She reached forward and gingerly placed her fingertips against the skin of his neck on either side, moving her hands forward a little so that her thumbs just barely pressed into the back of his neck. "..But. Yeah, but tell me. If I do something wrong. Or of something hurts, okay?" She knew this sort of thing could be sensitive. Sometimes, even if you were careful, you could cause pain just by touching the wrong spot with only a little too much force. And she paused for a minute, staring at his white hair. "... But is'okay." She smiled a little, fingers spreading out across his neck, one of her fingers brushing against the bottom of one of his ears. "You can trust me."

And her hands began their work.
It wasn't a first time thing with her. Not really something new, or something she wasn't at least a little experienced in.
Fingers that had worked out painful knots and kinks in wings and paws now worked diligently over Kaine's neck. She was gentle with everything she did, though, following the tense muscle that was causing all that discomfort. She could feel it, just under the surface. And she would stop when she knew something hurt or when she knew she might've pressed down just a little too hard on a sensitive area. But while treatment on the part that needed to be eased out of that stiffness halted for a few seconds, her thumbs would move to a different part of his neck, simply trying to relax him.

At one point her hands left his neck altogether, giving that part of him a break, and moved down to his shoulders for a few minutes. "Sometimes it spreads, y'know?" she shrugged, laughing. "Like one time I slept weird on my shoulder, and after moving around a bit my whole back was just hurting. That sucked." Her fingertips rolled over his shirt gently, slowly, against the muscles underneath, and she ignored the light heat she felt on her face. "Catching it 'fore it does."

Maybe they were excuses to let her get away with this.
Maybe she was being completely honest.
Even she didn't know.

But after those few minutes of massaging his shoulders, her hands moved back up, being slow about it, and returned to his neck.
And after another minute, "...Is this helping at all?" she asked quietly through a laugh, feeling a little silly as she asked. If it wasn't helping, then she was just pretty much wasting their time, wasn't she? She didn't want that. But most of all, of course, she wanted him to feel better. She loved him. Much, much, much more than he, and maybe even she herself, knew.
She paused for a second, actually lifting her fingers away just the tiniest bit away from him. "Should I stop? 'Cause seriously, if I'm not doing anything..." She sighed. "Sorry, I'm just...I help my Pokemon with this. I haven't tried it on a person yet." Gah, if she was doing something wrong...

Just gah.

[Kaine McAllister]

[Pfft. xD They're both so cute omg.]

…

It was always good to hear her laugh. He could get used to it, even if she doubted him and all the awesome skill points he could rack up with the ladies on a daily basis. But even so, he smirked quietly, eyes flashing as he stared across the room, shrugging. “Nobody said you had to believe it. I just tell it like it is, you know. Not my fault everybody loves me.” He laughed softly, closing his eyes again and rubbing his neck carefully when she threw a pillow at him and missed. “…Wow. I’m sitting right here and you still can’t hit me. Nice throw, sweetheart. A 9 for effort, a 6 on creativity and a 0 on aim.” He grinned, snatching it up and holding onto it for a minute. He might need it as a shield if she threw anything else. Pft. Pillow fight. He’d always heard about those, but in his childhood, when he lived with his Uncle, “fun” just wasn’t the word that came to mind. Hell, he’d never had a pillow fight before in his life, and he doubted he would throw it back at her, but still.

This was why he loved being around her so much. She was fun. “Stop worrying, you,” he said though, snorting. “I’ll be fine. I’m actually more concerned about that arm of yours. You throw like a girl. We’ll have to fix that.” In spite of the remark he grinned, brown eyes softening once again as he looked over to her. “People can make fun of you for that you know,” he added seriously. “Yep. Definitely need to fix that.”

…

Honestly though. He wouldn’t “fix” a damn thing when it came to her. He loved her just the way she was, and occasionally, the thought of it made his heart race a bit, but the emotion was well hidden below a friendly façade. “Sweetheart. I’m the definition of tough. The damn image of it. … ‘sides. The ladies love that too.” He smirked again, probably irritating her, but shrugged. “What? It will go away eventually. Most pains do.”

And damn did he ever wish that sometimes, the ones that didn’t…he could just erase. He still thought of that day a lot, still remembered the things he said to her before he sort of..tossed her away. It hurt to think of those moments when they were feigning so much hatred and agitation with the other. He hated to remember it too, and then to think about what happened after all of that…hn. Even though he couldn’t see it in her now, when they were joking around and having fun, he knew those scars still bothered her occasionally. He would always notice when she made sure her sleeves were down, or her hoodie wasn’t askew or she did a fast, subtle look to make sure that none of them were showing. He knew she hated people to see them, much less know about them.

…

And he wished he could take that away. Just erase it. And maybe the only time he really could, was when he was making her happy, and being with her. It seemed she was comfortable enough around him that they could talk about anything, even if it was something like those damn scars. Though he never brought them up, and he never would unless he sensed something seriously wrong, but honest. When she said the word, “best friend” earlier, his heart had melted a bit and he offered up a small smile. It was good enough for him to be considered so, even if he loved her so much more than that. The fact was that she trusted him, and he trusted her. He was always slower to relax around others, always careful about what he said or what he did. Skie was maybe the only person that he just…naturally felt at ease with. And maybe that was a shared thought, at least he assumed so.

…Because ever since that horrible night when he first discovered those scars, the bond between them strengthened a bit. Secrets were…kind of a rare thing between them.

Maybe that was why he only blinked and grunted as she got up and requested to try something a little different to help. He felt a little groggy sure and wished he could just sleep a bit, but it hadn’t affected his judgment all that much. Even under normal circumstances he might have shrugged and just said, “Give it a shot.” Like he did now, lowering his hand away from his neck. He only glanced over his shoulder at her once, slightly curious before he snorted. “Trust you, huh. Watch. I’m gonna let my guard down and you’re gonna steal the pillow and try to beat me with it.” He smiled though and shook his head. “Tch. Like I can’t trust you. Ha. Have a go. Probably can’t do much for-“

…

Of course he paused. When his smile slid from his face and his eyes widened a bit at feeling her hands on his neck, how could he not hesitate. Quietly, he glanced away from her, staring ahead at some distant inanimate object, grunting softly under his breath. He never expected it, not even for a second, and he might have been considered dumb for it – and he really was- so he was grateful that he looked away when he did. There was that extra touch of heat rushing to his face, though not nearly enough to be particularly noticeable. But. He could feel it, regardless, and he growled softly, closing his eyes. Tch. Stupid..stupid emotions.

He rolled his one shoulder while her hands moved, careful not to say much. As…gentle and slow as she was, there was that occasional sound he let out whenever she pressed into the right spot and found the knot of all that tension. It wasn’t painful, but irritating, and he’d almost get a little huffy when she stopped, even for a second because of a slight noise he made. In spite of how it felt when she found that damn, horrible spot that hurt so much, it felt good too. And he didn’t want her to suddenly cease what she was doing. “No, it’s alright. Just…nng. Don’t stop.” He sighed, gaze half lidded as he leaned back a bit.

“Ha. Yeah?” The laugh was a soft one as she moved her hands lower, the man struggling a bit with his thoughts and feelings. She was pretty good at this, and he grunted again, feeling slightly..nervous. “Musta…had a…lot of practice huh? Either that or…like a lot of the girls…can’t keep your hands off me.” He laughed a bit at the joke, but it faded quickly. His voice grew a little softer, that fatigue coming back. “Hn. Feels nice.” He sighed softly, blinking only as her hands stopped when they moved back up to his neck. “H-huh?” He snapped out of a slight haze, confused. “What?” Pause. “Nonono.” He grunted, actually a little bit upset. “Don’t stop. It was helping. I swear.”

Still.

As he turned to glance over his shoulder at her, his brown eyes zeroed in on hers and he breathed out a sound like her name. “Please?” He added softly, “I’ll give you five chocolate…no. Ten. Ten chocolate bars. It was helping.” Just when he was starting to really love it too. She had to go and say stuff like that and think she was doing it all wrong. Guh. “…I’ll return the favor sometime, I swear.”

…

And then he really thought about what he just said and snorted. His eyes flashed and he sighed and turned over on his side first on the beanbag, leaning up and away from her before flopping over onto his chest and sighing as he reached for the nearest pillow and shoved it under his head, glaring at the wall. Guh. Damn it. Shut up Kaine. Stop ruining stuff and saying stupid crap. You’ll lose her. … Bah. Still. He sighed, his brow twitching.

“Laaaame.” He sounded like a little kid even. “Stopping is lame. Neck still hurts. A lot.” He glanced up at her, raising a brow. “…Twenty chocolate bars?” He asked softly, his huffiness easing up slowly. But he quickly corrected himself. “You don’t have to though. But it felt good. Honest..it did. And I appreciate it.” He pulled one arm out from under the pillow and winced a bit as he touched the area again. “Hn. Must have…been rough during some years..huh?” He could remember a lot of the times when he wasn’t there for her and felt a little guilty. She had to do a lot of things on her own back then, and he hadn’t exactly helped by ditching her to learn a lot of crap on her own.

…

“Sorry about that, Skie. But it really did feel good. I swear.” He sighed again, a slight slur in his voice like a child promising to be good if he could have a new toy. “…I’ll give you my autograph and a signed picture of that awesome brawl thing from the other night.” But he laughed softly and slowly pulled the pillow out from under him, lightly hitting her across the shoulder with it. “…Hmph. That’s what you get. Stopping.” He smirked, eyes flashing. “No but…seriously. You had to do that a lot huh? … You’re pretty good at it. … I’ll have to return the favor. When I’m not too busy with paperwork, missions or running around the base like an idiot because all my fangirls can’t get enough of me.” He sighed, as if he actually did have to deal with that. “They’re so clingy. You have no idea. The word ‘no’, just doesn’t exist in their vocabulary.”

[Skie Loon]

((HAHAHAHA D: ABOUT TIME. xD I'm sorry. That it took so damn long xD But pft. I sort of actually kind of like bits of this one xD Just a few though. But..lol xD Still. If I didn't give you enough to respond to or if you don't like it, seriously. I'll change whutever x3 And I'll miss you while I'm gone, Pheno D: *hugs* Love yah xD ))


“Yeah? Yeah?” She narrowed her eyes at him, grinning despite it. “Throw like a girl,” she repeated, scoffing in mock offense. “Well. You know what, Kaine McAllister?” she stretched out his name very slowly, making each syllable seem like something important. “If you, you know, could throw. Just a little harder yourself.” She tilted her head to one side, grin widening. “You could throw like a girl too, sweetheart.”

Moments like this, no matter how small or insignificant or day-to-day they seemed, were all important. All of them cherished, because they stacked onto one another, building up what they were together. Made it stronger. Made it more invincible—and that’s the way she liked to think of them. Unbreakable and inseparable, because anything else just…wouldn’t..work. She cared about him, loved him too much not to want him around all the time, and certainly couldn’t take moments like these for granted. Not anymore. At one point she might have, but…well. Things change. Emotional limits can stretch or shrink, and for him, her damn limit seemed to be endless.

“Don’t be a brat,” she scolded.

…

She tilted her head a bit at his voice while she was still being so careful around his shoulders. There was maybe a bit of tension there too, but she never said anything about it. Hell, all of them probably had some when you thought about it. It would be weird for someone to be completely relaxed in their line of work.

“Practice or your ridiculous charms? Well tch. That’s a tough one. To pick between.” She paused. “Not.” Another laugh, almost as quiet as his. Though she didn’t say anything else on that matter, biting her lower lip when she began worrying she might have been hurting him, or just not doing enough at all to begin with.

When her hands did draw back, she watched him, still unsure about what she’d been doing. “You sure?” she paused, reaching up to move some of her hair back, but her hand paused, blinking at his words.

“You know how to bribe a girl, don’t you.” She grinned, tilting a knee up to rest an elbow against it, placing her chin comfortably in her palm as she stared at him, eyes flashing blue. “..Pffk.” she snorted, almost laughing to herself. “You will? Return the favor hm?” She made another noise in the back of her throat. That choking sort of hitch that was a mix between a snort and a mocking piece of laughter. “God.” The girl leaned back a bit though as he moved, switching his position. “I should totally hold you to that.”

…

“…Your face,” she countered lamely (pffpunmebbe) at that first word. “Does it?” she muttered. …Hm, well at least she helped, right? A little. “Well you—…pfft. Twenty? …That’s a lot of chocolate.” She reached up and held onto her chin lightly, pretending to go deep into some thought like a serious philosopher thinking over the meaning of life. “Very tempting, actually.”

She watched him, frowning a little when he winced at that pain again—guh, she hated that. “…No problem, Kaine.” Skie sighed a little, inaudibly, and lowered her hand away from her chin, sitting normally again.

…It had been rough back then. When he wasn’t around. She’d always known he had a good reason for leaving, trusted that he wouldn’t leave her unless he had to. Rough patches would still sometimes resurface in her thoughts; some of those battles…well.

Lying to herself would make things harder to deal with, in truth. They just…built up. She’d learned already that…talking about the difficult things to someone you trusted, someone you cared about, made those problems so much easier to deal with. Like there was just a bit more of you you didn’t feel you needed to hide, or make excuses for.

She…she had people she cared about. But…it was strange. Open as she seemed and kind-hearted as she was, the girl really only had a small handful (if that) of close friends. One of which being her brother, another being a ‘fake’ brother, and well. Kaine.

Kaine McAllister was special.

She could talk to him about anything, where as some things were kept secret, kept hidden, from everyone else. Family or no. Kaine she trusted with more than her life.
Kaine McAllister was special because she loved him. Because he was her best friend. Because he was just…

Hm.

“It’s alright,” she said softly, finally, digging up words after a second of silent thought. “It was hard sometimes though. Yeah.”

Those quick, rocky years, that chunk of time, was one of the only things she never really mentioned. Mostly because he never really asked. It didn’t bother her—she wasn’t..dwelling on anything, so nothing needed to be brought up or talked out. She really was okay.

“Just you know.” The girl shrugged. “Lots of battles. I got pretty damn tough, you know.” She actually lifted her arms and flexed them, not really caring her hoodie pretty much canceled out the movement’s whole purpose. “And Brute. Omigosh.” She rolled her eyes. “You wanna know how he turned into such a big fat orange jerk? There you go.” She grinned, shaking her head. And the laugh that filtered up was maybe more proof that that bit of troubled-time was no big deal anymore. …In reality though, what she’d been through more recently was…ha. Made the other stuff look like a skip through some rainbow-choked flower field. Or something.

“Don’t apologize though. I know why you had to go now.” She reached forward and gave his shoulder a light shove. “Still, you idiot, you coulda told me why you had to go when you did. I mean, I know sixteen-year-olds are loudmouths but I wouldn’ta blabbed to anyone.” She rolled her eyes, staring up at the ceiling with a huff. “…After that my brain came up with so much shit to answer that question.” Head still tilted up at the ceiling a bit, her eyes glanced down at him. “…For a bit I actually thought you were some sort of spy. Or something. Out on some…some double-oh-seven mission or something. …Which, actually, you prolly were,” she grinned again, laughing and ducking her head.

…

Ooh, autographed pictures? …Tch. “I swear. I oughta—“ She yelped, swiping at the pillow with a hand when it struck her. “Brat! Bratbratbrat!” she chanted, laughing though. But she calmed down quickly enough.

“Only when one of ‘em slept funny or pulled something in a fight. Not…like. Really often but every once in a while.” The girl shrugged. “Maybe I’m just an awesome, quick learner.” Grin. Pause.

…

“But.” She raised an eyebrow. “So your neck still hurts huh? And you’ll return the favor huh? And I’ll get twenty chocolate bars, huh?” Her grin was akin to the Cheshire cat then for a second.

“It’d be sort of really dumb of me. Not to take you up on that deal, wouldn’t it?” But the girl watched him, raising an eyebrow slowly. “But…pft. The hell did you roll over then for.”

She actually reached out, touching either side of his face gently, her touch just barely there at all. “…See, when you’re facing me, I can’t…see.” She muttered the words, moving her hands down across his jaw and over his neck, any out of place implications out of mind. Only when she actually scooched closer, ducking down a bit, did she realize that maybe…she was too close?
…

Nah.

She hmmed in the back of her throat, fingers of one hand finding that tense spot after a tiny second of exploring. “See,” she muttered, grunting. “I can’t see very well. Pft.” She tilted her head, still pressing into that tight muscle on his neck gently, to get a better view. “…Yep. Shouldn’t have rolled over.” Still the fingers of that one hand rolled over the painful muscle slowly, her other hand drawing back so she could rest it on her knee, and place her chin in her palm again. “You need to stop going to these brawls of yours.” She clicked her tongue. “Fangirls or no.” And then she managed to wipe away any trace of her grin or smile of any kind. “I’m very disappointed in you, young man,” she growled gravely.

“Fangirls are a big responsibility. So I hear.” She sighed, shaking her head and glancing away. “Like a puppy. Do you know how much trouble Ace was when he was first born? Getting into everything. If you don’t lock your door, one day you’ll walk into your room and all of your stuff’s gonna be stolen. And in everything’s place there’s going to be a sticky note with some little heart on it. And maybe a signature of the whoever-it-is-fangirl followed by a” she looked right back at him, into that visor of his right where his brown eyes would be. “ “I’ll love you forever and always”…s-surrounded by more hearts. Or something.”

The girl paused for a second, and realizing that a blush was creeping up into her face she moved her hand up from his neck, into the hair on the back of his head, and with her other hand, snatched the pillow he’d hit her with, stuffed it under him, and went on to shove his face down into the pillow. –Looking down like that hadn’t hurt him, just twisting it the wrong way. She wouldn’t pillow-whitewash him if it would end up being painful.

“So. You should…listen to me. And take my good advice.” She lifted a hand through his hair, but not before messing it up pretty thoroughly. “Because my advice is awesome.” Pause. “…I’m serious,” she growled, though her expression now was anything but, a laugh even hit the air again.

Skie moved then, grunting as she scooted back a bit before flipping up onto her knees. She reached out, snatching up one of the smaller beanbags in the room, and plopped it down next to his before basically rolling over it, landing on her back with her head on the bag like it was a pillow. “Ha.” She reached up, crossing her arms under her head. “…I have a comfy floor,” she commented, yawning a little. “…Know what I should do,” she mumbled, “I should put those…those sticky glow in the dark stars all over my ceiling. Truffle and Val would love that.” She grinned, closing her eyes and shifting for a second to make herself more comfortable.

“I always did like doing that. Looking up at the stars. …’Specialy with you. Like back in Barkwish when we’d stay out really late at that pasture. …Hn.” She laughed gently. “I loved that.”

[Kaine McAllister]

[fjdka;fljask;fas; xDDD He loves her so much. Tch. He really, really does. <3 <3 <3 And let me know if I didn't give ya enough to respond to.]

It was strange.

He never suspected he’d ever have such a control over the feelings flooding through his veins like he did now. He marveled at it, smirked even, as her hands came up and just barely lingered at the sides of his face. He loved her touch, and felt an instant warmth from the small gesture. Maybe if he hadn’t felt so hazy or had been more cautious, he might have checked the action by moving back a bit. Or turning over like she requested. Instead, he let that slow smirk pass over his face, his eyes flashing under his visor as he met her gaze head on, her words passing vaguely through his mind. It might have been the perfect moment, the only time when he could get away with anything he wanted to say – everything he wanted to say.

“They would, wouldn’t they,” he said softly, his eyes flashing below his visor. There was something in his voice. A low suggestion that might have hinted at something more than what they were both talking about. Fangirls or no- he of course wished the words could be twisted around to relate to her. In some small way, it was a confession, a subtle hint at what he desired more than anything else. But it was as far as he could get to saying anything at all. “They really would.”

He was too busy to notice if his words had an affect on her. He wished that they could have, for once forgetting the guard he placed between them to keep their relationship safe. Risking everything they had because of a few words was a terrible thought, and yet the haze that had fallen over the room since they begun their talk, the friendly air around them, the surreal quality of it all…it put him at ease. It made him tired, but in a good way. He noticed the smaller things that were important, and for a second –only a second- his eyes flashed with a faint realization, zeroing in on a tinge of red that flushed her face before she shoved him into his pillow.

Of course he laughed. He turned over slowly after she mussed up his hair, slipping one arm under the pillow and cradling it between his arm and his head. Almost tentatively, he reached up and ran his free hand through his hair as he stared up at the ceiling, ignoring how messed up it really was. His fingers fisted a great many of the soft white strands before he shook his head, his laughter fading. The crick in his neck was still there, but not nearly as evident as before. Whatever she’d done had helped him.

That or he was just blissfully unaware of any real pain now. “And you called me the brat,” he said, smiling up at the ceiling. “I beg to differ,” he said quietly, his eyes flashing as he sighed, relaxed and content. There was a pause as he considered his thoughts, his gaze softening considerably.

“…Ten. Twenty, chocolate bars,” he mulled quietly, “what’s it matter, Skie? I’d give you anything you want if you’d ask for it anyway.” Again, that calm haze fell over him and he was unable to check what he said or correct himself before it could be interpreted oddly. He could still feel her hands at his neck, working…even if they weren’t there anymore and she were lying down as well. He somehow wished the real words would present themselves.

I love you, is what he knew they were. But he couldn’t say them outright, he couldn’t spoil everything. And yet, instead of brooding over the thought as he normally did, he still laughed and forgot the trouble it caused him. He was happy right now. They both suffered enough to realize that there maybe wasn’t time to brood just now. …And maybe later, he could curse himself for not being as cautious with his feelings as he normally was. But for right now, he just wanted the feeling to thrive, hidden amongst everything he said. He loved these moments with her. He couldn’t ever regret them.

“…God. Stars, huh? Brute might think you were babying him, even if they weren’t meant for him.” He paused, blinking and turning to look at her as she continued on. “…I remember. We’d always…when we finished the work and we needed time to relax. Barkwish was so peaceful.” He quieted then, closing his eyes as he searched his memory for a few instances. He treasured those moments, and he breathed out a small laugh. “Boy do I remember. Too bad,” he said, voice still lulled into a quiet tone, “that we haven’t been able to do that again yet. It would be nice. …maybe. We can go back someday. Granted…it probably won’t ever feel the same. But visiting might be nice. Things would be different…but just for old times sake…we could go back.”

He doubted, with the way the schedule worked now, that either of them would have a vacation for a while yet. Judging only by all that paperwork alone…well. He withheld a disappointed sigh as he realized that and opened his eyes, staring quietly up at the ceiling.

“It does get tiring…all of this. So much work.” It was maybe the only time he’d ever sit down and complain about anything in regards to the workload. He loved his job, but like anybody…there were always certain days when a person noticed the good, slowly being overwhelmed by the bad. What had happened recently with Skie. Well. That hadn’t helped to boost his feelings either. It reinforced his will to protect her, but occasionally he paused in his work and he stopped to wonder…just what he was fighting for anymore.

Quietly, his eyes flickered over to her and then darted back to the ceiling. She could never see it, but he felt as if she might feel it, however absurd that was.

“About earlier,” he began, blinking a few times to fight off a sleepy haze that was overcoming him, “I know you tell me not to apologize. But. … Those years were rough. I should have at least told you. Helped you out. Something. I never did. I’m sorry.” He cocked his brow, a slow grin passing over his face. “Spy or no,” he drawled, purposely snorting after the thought. “You and your imagination. I swear.”

…

He quieted again as he turned over on his side, his back facing her as he closed his eyes, still talking. She was right. Her floor was comfy, though the bean bag he was using definitely helped.

“I always admired that about you,” he said, voice soft. Again, he felt a need to be careful with his words, and again the urge to watch what he was saying was quickly suppressed by something else. He reached up, sighing audibly as his hand passed over the back of his neck, feeling the rest of the lingering tension there as he continued. “You were so carefree…so different than the depressed people all over the country here. He cocked a brow, smiling a bit as he glanced over his shoulder towards her before ducking his gaze back in front of him. “It was a nice change. And I hated what the war was turning me into.” He paused. “So mechanical.”

He closed his eyes again, smile slipping. “I stopped seeing that side of life, you know. For a long time. I was depressed, I guess.” He snorted and his grin came back. “Can you imagine? …But it was true. I was turning into something that I never wanted. And when I met you it was…different. A wake up call I guess. I grew attached to you immediately. I just wish I hadn’t ditched you whenever something important came up. But I couldn’t think of anything else to do.” He paused, shifting his arm slightly under his head and moving the pillow a bit. “It was stupid, I’ll admit that.”

…

And now he paused as his mind found a question that made him open his eyes, his heart dreading a truthful answer. His gaze softened, warm brown irises gaining a new level of concern and sadness. “Skie,” he started, uncertain of why the question even came to mind, “are you..happy here?”

He had never stopped to ask her that before. She always seemed happy. She looked like she fit in, she appeared to love the people, love her job, love her pokemon…there never seemed to be any trouble. But now his memories jumped, he winced as moments of pain flashed through his head. The things he’d said to her once that nearly cost him everything, nearly losing her, the weeks of recovery at the hospital, the scars, Pravus, everything. He almost felt ill, and swallowed.

“You are…happy, right?” He couldn’t ask more than that without betraying himself. He bit back the rest of it, all of it, in fact, that would have told her he loved her too much. He couldn’t risk it. But the question was enough. Just, enough…to later cause him even more concern. It was close enough to the truth that it almost hurt to say it a little, and if not for the haze he felt he might have never said it at all. “That’s all I want,” he breathed. “If you’re happy…”

And he stopped.

He closed his eyes against any answer that came, good or bad, because his mind was imagining all versions of the truth that he just didn’t want to see or hear. Bringing her back to the Ranger base after everything that happened…occasionally he wondered about the decision. It wasn’t an obligation. She didn’t have to come back. No one would hate her for deciding not to return, and risk herself again in a foolish war that the Rangers just…weren’t bound to win. Especially not with the way things were looking now. And if she were just feigning all this happiness for the sake of others…he paled, careful with his words, repeating them slowly.

“Are you happy?”